“I can’t help but notice that they’re all pink.”
The saleswoman at our local children’s shoe store had shown Boobaby and me to the girls’ shoe shelves. I wasn’t exaggerating — every pair out of their fairly wide selection had at least some pink ornament or stripe. Many of the shoes were completely, irrevocably PINK, the sort of pink that you find in the adult world only on Valentine’s Day sugar hearts. And in antacid bottles, which coincidentally is precisely what I was starting to feel like I needed just then.
The salesperson looked concerned. “You don’t like pink?” she asked. She eyed Boobaby’s outfit, which, as usual, my two-year old daughter had picked out herself. She was in multicolored striped tights, mint green shorts, and an orange and red flowered dress over a white shirt (that last part being my only contribution to the wardrobe selection). No pink.
She must think I’m one of those horrible anti-fashion stay-at-home dads, I thought, so I rushed to reassure her that no, I didn’t mind a little pink here and there, but… every single shoe?
“Could I look at the boys’ shoes?” I asked. Begrudgingly, she showed me the pink-free shelves of manly brown and red and blue and green, but by then it was too late. Boobaby had picked out a pair of silver sneakers with — yep — pink and green stripes. I tried everything to get Boo to accept something from the boy shelf. Even the boots with a helicopter and real blinking lights didn’t turn her head. Her mind was made up: it would be the pink-accented sneakers or nothing.
Of course, I was annoyed that the girls’ shoes were dripping with so much pink, but it came to me that I’m not exactly gender-neutral, either. I dress Boo in lots of “feminine” outfits: dresses and tights bedecked with flowers and butterflies rather than trains and footballs. Partly, this reflects my own bias toward nature and away from modes of transportation and sports. But I like to think that if they made royal blue dirndls with decorative baseball theme appliqué, we’d be first in line.
Sadly, though, it’s for all the wrong reasons. I might pretend that I’m so sensitive to gender equity that the fashion pinkistas offend me. Really, though? I don’t just don’t think pink looks good on Boo. She’s got dark hair and blue-gray eyes — sort of a “winter” coloration — and she looks great in deep blues and rich browns, dark red and purple. Yes, I’m even more stereotype-conscious than the pink-mongering shoe store. I don’t want Boo to fall victim to the “pink craze” because I want her to fall victim to a more subtle craze: freedom to pick anything you think looks good on you.
You read right — I do think that clothing choice is about looking good, whether for yourself or for other people. I just don’t like it when girls’ (or boys’) choice is so artificially limited to a single hue.
We start getting imprinted with “gender-appropriate” clothing in the maternity ward. Boobaby got a pink skull cap, and I’ll bet those of you with boys have blue ones in your first photos. And that’s fine: I just don’t want that preference to become a lifelong prejudice. We’re all subject to other people’s eyes, but Boo’s freedom to choose a non-pink outfit shouldn’t be unduly restricted by society’s expectations of what a girl should wear. I think most of us can agree to that, right?
Facing the rosy glow of a wall full of pink shoes, though, I can’t escape the feeling that we’re fighting a losing battle.
by Doodaddy
[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, girls, baby, babies, pink, color, clothes, sexism, sex roles[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Stephane Raymond, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
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6 responses so far ↓
Jan Bay // Feb 8, 2008 at 7:07 pm
I know exactly what you mean! Pink’s fine but I would feel the same about yellow or even my favorite color, purple if I felt that it was well….expected!
I just posted about some shoes that I found for my middle one that are red (for Valentine’s Day, right?) and felt compelled to mention as well as show that the shoes also come in pink for those who think red is too strong a color for a little one’s shoes.
Jan from Cool Gift Ideas for Kids
Christie // Feb 16, 2008 at 3:29 pm
As mom of a baby boy, I lament the missed purchasing opportunities that come with having a girl. Whereas you feel comfortable crossing the aisle to the boy side and choosing from the available color choices, rarely will you see that happen in the other direction. Sometimes there isn’t even the option of a cute pastel blue colored item of a similar vein that is offered in pink. Case in point: While shopping for car seats for our little one we found a gazillion different pink options. Pink plaid, pink polka dots, pink, pink, pink. Oddly, there were no light blue options, just more “grown-up” colors that were dark and rather uninspired. (Luckily, we came across a sort of modern orange seat for the little kid.) As for girl shoes, I know Ecco makes a rather cute brown shoes for girls that has green flowers on it. No pink at all.
Stephen // Feb 19, 2008 at 8:44 am
My oldest daughter is easy to buy for–she likes pink and purple and anything that glitters or sparkles. Piece o’cake.
Me, on the other hand, I’m not much of a blue person. I’m more of a gree kinda guy, I think. And not just because I’ve been sick all night.
There was a guy at my job who wore a pink sweater-vest occasionally. I’m sure he was ribbed about that mercilessly, but now that I think about it, the problem with that is not that he was wearing a non-masculine color, the problem is that we have been conditioned from birth to BELIEVE that pink is a non-masculine color. (Not that I’m about to go buy any pink clothes any time soon, I’m just sayin’.
)
Lynnie // Feb 22, 2008 at 1:28 am
I run into this EXACT same problem every 3-4 months with my 2 girls! It’s either pink or white and that’s it. We live on a farm and those colors just don’t hold up well to mud, dirt, etc. And believe me, my girls see a pile of dirt and head straight for it! I bought from the boys section several times with good results. One time I bought iron-on butterflies to apply to the shoe in case anyone made fun of my daughter for wearing boy’s shoes, but no one ever noticed she wasn’t wearing neon pink blinking Disney princess shoes. I would LOVE to find a company that made gender-mixed clothes! Why can’t my youngest, who loves airplanes, have pink airplane overalls? And I agree that boys have it harder sometimes. When my oldest was 2 she selected a pair of bright yellow rainboots with dumptrucks on them. She was so happy she walked around bent over looking at her feet! I bet you a million bucks no boy was allowed to shop from the “girls” rack which consisted solely of pink boots with hearts!
sisi // Feb 22, 2008 at 1:14 pm
moi minä olen sisi
michelle // Aug 2, 2009 at 7:07 am
The pink blue thing was invented by the Greeks, before that kids wore any colour, just ignore it, I actually think girls suit Red more but anyway girls can wear blue, and boys can wear red and pink, go with the flow there your kids, go against this stereotyping uniform, and explain to them that there is no certain colour for anyone and all the colours are for them, also they start this of at nursery, programming the kids so speak to the nursery before your kid starts. And tell them not to brainwash you kids into liking pink or blue.
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