While vanity is certainly in play when it comes to my reasons for losing weight and getting fit, my inspiration to take better care of myself is really my father.
My dad died of colorectal cancer in August 2004, five years almost to the day of his initial diagnosis. I remember when I got the call from my mother in July 2000, telling me that daddy was headed to the hospital for some tests.
“You should probably come,” she said. She tried to stay calm, but I heard the waver in her voice. A small worm of fear worked its way into my heart.
“I’ll be right there,” I said.
I dropped everything, leaving even my wallet on my desk at work, and raced to the hospital. My dad was admitted, tested and the initial diagnosis (”lymphoma, six weeks to live”) was revised to “we’re not sure.”
What they did know was that he was dangerously anemic and close to death from that symptom alone. Two days later he was under the knife, a large tumor in his lower intestines revealing Stage B-C colon cancer.
Over the next five years my dad endured three surgeries, two cancers and an experimental therapy that was a last-ditch effort to stave off the metastisis found in late 2003. A radical surgery ended much too early, with the surgeon himself emerging into the waiting room looking grim.
“We weren’t able to get to the tumor,” he said.
After that, all I heard was “nine months to two years.” How do you explain what it feels like to hear a beloved parent’s death sentence? Impossible. Unless, of course, you’ve been there yourself.
My dad had a strong personality and a huge, life-affirming presence. I turned to him for advice, support, love, friendship, and laughter.
However, he was never a role model when it came to taking care of his health.
He was overweight most of my life, ate chocolate by the bag, drank 10 cups of coffee a day, never exercised, and never, ever went to the doctor. His stress level as a corporate officer of a large international company left him stressed out and exhausted after 10-hour work days.
So when I saw the numbers on the scale climbing and as I struggled to breath while carrying The Poo upstairs at bedtime, I made a vow, to myself - and my family.
I want to usher my daughter into her womanhood. I want to celebrate my 40th anniversary with my husband. I want to know my grandchildren. My father, uncle, and grandmother all died at age 54, and none of them took care of themselves. I will be 36 in July - by my estimate, my life could be more than half over.
I want to do everything I can to prevent that. I may not be able to control the gene that could make my cells go awry, but I can eat well, exercise, get a colonoscopy every three years, and generally do what I can to keep myself otherwise healthy.
March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month, and so it is only fitting that I share this story of my inspiration with you. And in light of the plight of former Sen. John Edwards and his wife, Elizabeth, the terrible reality of cancer is at the forefront of my mind.
I urge you to look in your life for the inspiration you need to get and stay healthy. Don’t let laziness and excuses take you from those you love, before you - and they - are prepared to say good-bye.
Daddy, I love you.
[tags]parents, dad, health, diet, exercise, National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by the author, some rights reserved
10 responses so far ↓
Megin Hatch // Mar 27, 2007 at 5:33 am
Amy-
First off, BLAH.
April will be the 10th anniversary of my father’s cancer death. I miss him every day and am brought to tears easily by the thought that he never met the Punks, and they him. I am in shock that 10 years have passed so quickly when my memory is so clear.
Second, I hear you on the fear thing. My Dad was 61, young by many standards. My husband, however, is approaching 36. His father and his grandfather both died of a heart attack- one at 36 and one at 37. I have said since the day that I met him that his 38th birthday will be a huge celebration. Although he is in good health he could certainly make improvements in his eating and exercise habits.
Many people will not relate in any way shape or form to the following statement… but in our house it’s common to hear the statement:
Dead Dad’s aren’t much fun.
I feel for you, and I respect you so much for making the commitment that you’ve made to yourself and your family.
Thank you for sharing with us.
A.L. Hatch // Mar 27, 2007 at 5:41 am
Megin, I was five months pregnant the day my dad died. The baby in this picture is my niece, and while I am grateful Lizzy got to enjoy her grandpa, she also feels his loss keenly at a tender age.
I am glad to hear your husband is living well so he can stay with you and yours.
Peace, friend, and I am sorry loss is something we share.
karrie // Mar 27, 2007 at 7:16 am
My father died when I was 9. He simply did not take care of himself and his early death was probably preventable.
My inspiration is my son. My husband has numerous health issues, and I feel a great deal of pressure to be the healthy spouse as a result. I don’t want my son to lose a parent–or two–early, and I also do not want my fat butt to be the butt of jokes that hurt him on the playground.
Elizabeth // Mar 27, 2007 at 8:39 am
Add me to the lost a parent group, too. My mother died of lung cancer last year.
I, too, need to make improvements to my health, thank you for inspiring me.
IntheFastLane // Mar 27, 2007 at 9:35 am
Your post made me cry. We are currently dealing with the fact that a young friend of ours (she is 22) has colon cancer. By the time they found it, it had already spread to her liver, rectum, lungs. She is in her 2nd round of chemo now. She was just engaged weeks before the diagnosis. It is Never too early to start taking care of your health.
Lynda // Mar 27, 2007 at 10:42 am
Perhaps your dad was a role model for doing the opposite of what he did.
I can understand what you are going through. My sister died of lung cancer at 25 years old. Her baby was only 4 1/2 months. While her health played a minor role in her case, I do believe good health can be a preventative, and at the very least being healthy will help to indicate if something is wrong.
Lynda // Mar 27, 2007 at 10:43 am
Her baby was only 4 1/2 months when she died. He will be 2 years old in June.
Thought I better clarify that.
Mrs. Chicky // Mar 27, 2007 at 1:49 pm
And that is the best reason I can think of for losing weight.
You know my story. My mom died of colon cancer the same year as your dad. However, she led a fairly good lifestyle. Her downfall was her fear of doctors and not listening to her body. I can’t help but wonder if she were a better advocate for herself and her health if she would have been alive to meet her first granddaughter.
Annie // Mar 27, 2007 at 4:32 pm
My dad had triple bypass heart surgery last month. Before that, he was trying to take care of himself because of his diabetes.
My inspiration are my kids. Michael is autistic, but still has a cheerful outlook on life despite it all. And Christina’s little innocence lifts the clouds of depression…
PDX Mama // Mar 28, 2007 at 4:34 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a wonderful man and father.
My dad died 2 years ago. He had a myriad of health issues and was confined to a wheelchair, but his death was extremely sudden.
I consider my kids my inspiration for the healthy improvements I’ve made to my life since the beginning of the year. But when I’m out going for a run, I often think of my father and the fact that for the last 20 years of his life, he couldn’t go for a run even if he wanted to and that helps me continue on. I am blessed with health and I want to keep it that way.
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