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I moved to a new job in January. Because I work in a church, it meant that our family moved to a new church. Because the job isn’t far away, we didn’t have to move to a new house, nor did our daughter have to change schools. As a high school junior, that is a significant thing. However, changing church groups did loom large for her.

Apart from going with us on Sunday mornings, we didn’t require her to change. However, the fact that the groups met at different times meant that she could try the new place without giving up the old place.

After five months, it’s clear. She’s all in at the new place.

There have been many factors. With more kids, there is more room to have her own identity. With more opportunities for participation, she has been able to use the music skills she has in ways she never could before.

One other factor, however, has been very significant.

The adults.

The leader of the small group for junior class girls. The teachers. The staff members. Each has learned her name. Each has greeted her in the hallway, asked about her transition, celebrated her participation. In various ways, they have helped her with the transition.

It helps me understand something I heard at a conference several years ago.

A leader from another organization was speaking to our group. He didn’t need to, but he came and spoke and encouraged us and celebrated us. The reason he worked us into his schedule? His son was part of our group.

“Who cares for mine, I love.”

That a close paraphrase of what he said. What he meant was that if you take care of his child–encouraging, challenging, mentoring–then he is on your side and at your back. At the time, with our kids much younger, it didn’t register with me much. Now that I’ve been through this transition, I understand completely.

Susie and Jim and Phil and Dave and Laurie and Sarah and Kelley are high on my list. They have taken care of one of the most important people in my life. I would die for her. And they have cared for her.

Who are the people that are helping your kids? Not because they get paid for it (most of the names in that list don’t) but because they love to help? Do they have any clue that you are a raving fan of theirs?

Will they know by next week?

by Jon Swanson

Photo graciously provided by the author, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved