With this post, I admit defeat. Toddlerhood has won. It’s over. I’m throwing my towel in.
This parenting thing is kicking my a**, and I’m done. Beat. Tired. A bloody pulp on the floor, gasping for air.
Max, at two-and-a-half, is completely normal, I think. There’s nothing about him that seems “off” in how he plays or behaves. But I wonder if other two-year-old boys are as exhausting as he is, as stubborn, as defiant. As much as he is growing and learning and amazing me with something new every day, he is also wearing me down with his demands, his tantrums, his inexplicable whining.
He asks for Mickey Mouse on TV, and I put it on. The music barely starts before he’s whining, “no Mickey!”. So I turn it off, only to have him near tears over that. I let him choose between a banana or Cheerios for a snack, and he says, “Banana!” As I had it to him, he pushes it away, yelling, “NO!!” UGH. No matter what it is, we can’t get through the day without a tantrum; and he, in his anger, throws whatever’s in his hand or smacks whatever’s closest to him - despite the fact that no one in this house behaves that way.
Seeing it like this, it all seems normal. But it also seems so endless, so relentless.
And the thing is, the more I feel my son and his antics get the best of me, the more I sink into this hole of crappy parenting. The kind where the TV is on too long, and I’m not creative enough, and I deal by not dealing. My best tactics, the ones I put a lot of thought and compassion and brains and compassion into, quickly wear thin and I end up, by week’s end, a trembling heap on the couch, unable to move, unable to say a word as he merrily tears the house apart.
Wow, I can’t believe I just admitted that, but there you have it. I’m just beat, and my feelings of exhaustion and being at wit’s end leave my parenting skills lacking. And I find myself thinking that this is the thick of all I heard prior to becoming a mother, about the challenges of each age and developmental period coupled with the challenges of life in general: work, finances, time. And I’ve just got what, 20, 30 years to go? FUN!
All right, I’m done. Thanks for letting me indulge in some whining and a bit of self-pity.
by Tere
Photo graciously provided by wiseacre, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
5 responses so far ↓
Erika // Apr 24, 2008 at 6:12 am
Oh, I’ve been so there, hon. I will share with you the mantra that gets me through:
This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.
And when it does, your brain will forget all the bad stuff and you’ll remember this time as “when he was a sweet little baby” and long for it. Brains is crazy.
InTheFastLane // Apr 24, 2008 at 11:57 am
This sounds like Jack Jack right now. Even if I let him make the choices “Do you want a banana or an apple?” He will pick the apple, only to not want it once it is washed and cut. As the last commenter stated “This will pass” but hopefully I won’t have created a spoiled brat by the time it passes
Megin Hatch // Apr 25, 2008 at 6:34 am
Tere-
Like Erika I have a mantra, too: It’s just a phase.
You are not alone. The age that causes the parent to retreat to the fetal position might vary, but everyone- everyone has felt it.
And I have yet to meet a parent who hasn’t fallen into the great hole of crappy parenting. IMO, those who recognize that they have are far less likely to actually live in that hole.
Sounds like your cup is empty- what will refill it? Hang tight, take time for you and the grown up relationships in your life, and watch your boy as he sleeps.
-M
AmyL // Apr 25, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Awwww, so sorry about the frustration! And yes, we’ve ALL been there. You’ll get through it, honest.
The choices thing is the way to go, and if he rejects something you can just put it away cheerfully and say “uh-oh, guess you don’t want to have anything at all.” Then walk away. Chances are he’ll change his mind when you refuse to do battle. It doesn’t take a hungry toddler long to re-align his priorities.
Mom on the Rise // May 10, 2008 at 7:10 am
I know that My little girl (at 2 years 2 weeks) seems just as exhausting as your son. She frustrates me, she tires me out, she makes me feel like I don’t have a clue as to what I am supposed be doing. But, I do know that it will be better- right?!
Leave a Comment