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My husband doesn’t travel very often. I think this is why my twin daughters react like the world coming to an end whenever he goes on a business trip. Recently he traveled two weeks in a row, which is unheard of for his line of work. The first week he left on Sunday and it was difficult to explain to two 3 ½ year olds that Daddy had to fly on a plan for work on a day of the week that is usually designated for family time.

The first night my husband was gone we followed our normal routine. The “normal” routine becomes much more challenging when there are two of them and only one of us. After their usual stall tactics, they were both finally snug in bed and I turned their bedroom light off. I sighed my relief that I could relax with a book before I too crashed as I knew four more days without help was going to wear me out.

Before I reached the end of the hall, I heard “Mommy.” I walked back to their room. “Why did Daddy get on a plane?” “Because he has to go to work in a different state for a few days, he’ll be back soon,” I said followed by “Good night, I love you.” Then the statement that melts your heart, “Mommy, please don’t leave us too.” With that last pull on my heart strings I go back in their room and sit on their bed. I explain that Daddy will only be gone for a few days then he’ll get back on a plane and fly home. They’re still too young to really understand what’s going on, but they listen to me anyway, nod their little heads and lay back down.

The mornings are hectic as I try to get everyone out of the house in a timely manner, which is challenging even when my husband is home to help. The afternoons are less than fun when he is gone. When Daddy is away they fight a lot and they are very needy. I don’t think it is just the fact that HE is gone, but that their routine has been changed. Generally they are very happy and play well together. But when Daddy is away it is all I can do to keep them from killing each other.

The first week of travel ends and Daddy returns. It’s a great weekend. My girls are getting along fabulously and everyone is happy. Bed time is easy. I relay the stories to my husband about how they reacted to his absence. He doesn’t believe a word I say.

Daddy leaves for his second work trip. The nights are easier as they remember that Daddy did come back as we promised he would. Thankfully this trip he left during the work week so it wasn’t as much of a shock to their routines as the Sunday departure. I notice bedtime is less dramatic for them too. I’m beckoned a few times, but I play along because I know it’s their way of wanting reassurance that I’m not going to leave them too.

Although it can be stressful for me and my girls when Daddy is away, I think it teaches some good lessons. It teaches children that even though people leave, they return. There is fear in a child that you won’t return. Sometimes it’s the trauma of their first day of school or the sadness they experience when a relative leaves after a visit. Also, it teaches them to adapt. The first week my husband was out of town my girls fought and were needy, they wanted my attention all the time. The second week they played better together and were not nearly as clingy.

This experience taught me a lesson too. Something seemingly so normal can cause havoc for a child. As a parent, my responsibility is to remind them they are loved so that they can manage the change easier.

by Kelly Damron

Photo graciously provided by francoisNZ, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved