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Life makes a radical change, especially when you have two children under five years old.

The week before Christmas, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. No one knows the exact cause of it, but its effects ripples past the person who has it. Every morning, I wake up with a catalogue of aches in my joints: my hands, my elbows, my knees, my hips. My skin feels warm to the touch, as if I have a perpetual fever. My limbs move stiffly as I creep out of bed and try to go about the daily routine. Michael needs to be dressed and given breakfast, Christina cries for her bottle, and backpacks need to be filled.

My husband, bless his heart, helps whenever he can. It makes my life easier as he takes care of the kids while I do kitchen duty. His mornings used to be leisurely, a quiet hour with the coffee cup and the newspaper. Now it’s one of chaos, but a lot less chaotic than it might be. I had been Supermom of the Morning and had thought I could do it all myself. Asking for help was the most difficult thing I’ve done. My friends keep reminding me, “If you need help, don’t hesitate to call.” There have been times when I’ve needed to take them up on that offer, especially on the bad days when the pain seems overwhelming.

On my good days, I can crawl around and dance to the Wiggles with my year-old daughter. I still have to think about every move I make: slow and steady, so it doesn’t hurt as much. It affects how long our outings can last and which playgroups to attend. Despite my RA, I’m determined to give my children as normal a childhood as possible. The last thing I want to do is burden them with my disability. Pride? Yeah, maybe, but I spent my childhood dealing with my mother’s depression, and I will not do the same to Michael and Christina.

Christina’s pediatrician knows about my family’s special challenges; he knows Michael is autistic, Christina has a heart condition, and now, about my RA. Last week, he asked me:

“How do you manage?”

I smiled and told him, “I take it one day at a time.”

Arthritis Foundation website: http://www.arthritisfoundation.org
RA.com: http://www.RA.com

[tags]support, parent, adult, child, family, priorities, illness, teamwork, rheumatoid, arthritis[/tags]

Thanks to alex-ikse. from Flickr, for the photo, used under a Creative Commons License.