Giving New Meaning to Parenting

I found out yesterday that my good friend and fellow podcaster, Andrea Ross, has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  She is facing surgery and chemotherapy afterward.  Andrea and her husband, Mark, are some of the most wonderful and generous people I know.  They have two great daughters, a bit younger than my own boys, and I guess I could easily put myself in Andrea’s shoes as a result.  It scares me.

Andrea’s someone who has been physically active and health conscious for all her life, so it’s a surprise that someone so fit and healthy could have this happen to them.  It seems so unfair.  We want to think there’s some poetic justice so people who smoke “give” themselves lung cancer; people who eat poorly “give” themselves a heart attack,  but why should someone who is good and kind and generous have something like this happen to them?  It seems just wrong.

It also seems a little selfish to consider how I feel about this news, but I can put myself in her place easily.  I’ve spent the last eight weeks working out and trying to develop a dramatically healthier lifestyle that was long overdue.  I feel better and like I am doing all the right things, and yet, this makes me realize how fast everything can change and how random life can be.  There’s no one, perfect path that keeps you safe from harm.  There’s no one, perfect path that will protect you and your kids and your family from getting sick.  Sometimes, bad stuff just happens, and you have to pick up the pieces and move on, day to day, and deal with what is, rather than regretting what  you should have, would have or could have done.

As a mom, every time something like this happens, particularly when it’s a friend and close to home, I feel like I want to fix it. At the same time I feel more vulnerable than ever before.   The statistics are no longer just random numbers in an article- they are real.  As we get older, more things happen that make us confront the fact that we aren’t invincible.  We get better at standing on our own and feeling like a superhero, just to find out that kryptonite can be waiting around the bend, to remind us that we are human.  While I can use Mommy Superpowers to heal a boo boo with a single kiss and hug, sometimes, these powers fail and mommies get hurt, too.  Our parents age and get sick, and surprisingly, we can too.

I know Andrea will do well- she has a great support structure around her, and I just wish I were closer and could offer more than a shoulder to lean on more frequently.  But this is a reminder to all of us to also take care- get that mammogram and blood work done.  Make your health as much a priority as your child’s health.  Because without you around, who will be that super hero every day?

by Whitney Hoffman

Photo graciously provided by johnpiercy, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved