There is an article in Time magazine (8/27/07) discussing the “Genius Problem”. It states that the highest achievers in US schools are often the least challenged, and that the public school system really doesn’t know what to do with kids who learn faster than everyone else, just like they are not really prepared to deal with kids who learn slower than the pack, either. I have had one of each in my house- one that started out behind the pack, and has caught up, and one that’s been ahead seemingly from birth.
What Genius Problem, I hear you say…What kind of problem is it to have a smart kid? More than you could possibly imagine, actually.
My younger child is in the “gifted” program at his school. This means for an hour, once a week, he gets to go hang out with the other smart kids and work on special projects. For example, he already knows how to use Powerpoint better than I do, from these experiences. But the other hours in the classroom leave him bored. He finishes his work early and often doesn’t have much to do afterwards. He says school soooooo boring, but he likes his friends. The best part of the day is recess, where he can play imaginary games and role playing games on the playground with his friends. (Last year featured some vaguely battle oriented themes- Supreme Commanders and missions and all that.)
While his older brother has had some struggles in school, the baby brother doesn’t even break a sweat. You can see he doesn’t have to work very hard to memorize his spelling list- once through is plenty, and we actually kind of tease him about the occassional B, because his grades are so predictably A’s, it’s the lower grades that grab our attention.
Sounds super, right? Not so much. Nothing is more frustrating than seeing a smart kid being bored. If he gets all A’s, that means he’s not really learning anything- he’s not being challenged, and also he’s not learning about the satisfaction that comes with mastery of things- he expects he will automatically be great at everything he does, because school is so easy for him.
This means that the inevitable bumps in the road throw him more than other kids. He is used to easy- challenge isn’t frequent, so this means he has no practice at having to really apply himself. We worry that if this goes on too long, he will become mentally lazy, and stop taking on any challenge that seems at all hard- because he only knows easy.
Being Mr. Personality means he also spends plenty of time honing his social skills, and it’s a matter of time before Class Clown becomes a label that he begins to like and live up to. He is an incredibly funny and charming kid. But he’s a lot more as well, and finding the best environment for him is hard. Do you push him, and get him used to hard work? How early? Trading off what else in return? He’s a kid with an eye towards gaming the system, which I admire on one level, and scares the crap out of me on another level all together.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what to do with these precocious kids- pushing them ahead, letting them be kids, a mix of both- what’s the solution? Or short of a solution, just any other coping mechanisms would be greatly appreciated!
[tags]parents, parenting, kids, children, school, gifted, bored, education, ideas, suggestions, strategies, thoughts, frustrations, powerpoint, computers[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by foreversouls, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
13 responses so far ↓
InTheFastLane // Sep 17, 2007 at 2:02 pm
I could write my own post on this. My daughter was lucky - starting in 3rd grade her district grouped the gifted kids into two classes at one school. She LOVED the program and was never bored. But, one she moved to middle school it has been a different story. My son is now in first grade and is acing everything - but unlike my daughter, he complains about it all the time. We are not in the same school system any more and even though this one is supposed to be better, they are not really challenging the bright kids either. Last year he was in the highest reading group which meant he was and “independent” reader and didn’t need a teacher for reading any more? This year my husband decided to give him more challenging math work at home, but this means he will know even more of the work already at school. Public schools are just not set up to give each individual child what they need and it gets frustrating. But, at this point, I am not sure I have a choice.
Stacy // Sep 17, 2007 at 5:30 pm
In the fast lane,
You always have a choice when it comes to your kids you just have to weigh wether the choice is worth the sacrifice. There are many online schools and virtual acadamies which have self paced curriculum. I am currently in the K12 online school and it is going very well. They are 1 to 2 years ahead of public schools and it is challenging on all levels. However the sacrifice is as mom or dad you loose some of your personal time or it means rearranging work schedules to help guide your student through the lessons. Second are private schools and other acadamies these however cost a lot of money and isn’t usually available to the masses. Some schools your child can get in on scholar ship.
You have a choice then; one blame the public school system for failing your child or two step up to the plate make the sacrifices necessary and control his education.
You hit the nail on the head where you said public schools are just not set up to handle the fast or the slow so who’s responsibility is it at that point. The parent or the teacher.
If it is his education that is the priority you will make the sacrifices necessary if it isn’t the priority than just let him be a kid and be grateful he doesn’t have the added stress of academics as other kids have. With out the extra stress of having to be a scholar he will have less physical problems. My son who was struggling in school was pulled out because the public school system wasn’t working for him. We now have no headaches, ulcers, weight loss, and loss of appetite from stress. Be glad god gave him a break in life and let him enjoy the ease while he can we all know it won’t last for ever. Even for a genius.
SJ // Sep 17, 2007 at 7:13 pm
Haven’t dealt with this yet kidwise, but it looks likely (very precocious 2.4 yr old)
But from my own memories as a “gifted child” (and, realistically, a pretty smart adult) - I already could read and so the beginning grades were kind of boring. My K teacher basically had me read to the class for her, while my 1st grade teacher gave me SRA cards to do on my own in the back of the room - (which still exist! see link - http://mcgraw-hill.co.uk/sra/about.htm - wow that brings me back…)
Anyways, I found school easy, and tests easy, and that’s okay. What my mom did was to challenge me in other ways so that I didn’t find everything easy - and it doesn’t have to be about school things - I was doing complicated crafts, I had a sewing machine when I was 10, things that you can get really good at and still be very challenged mentally - there’s always a harder model kit (we built several doll houses), or pattern - but in a very different way from school. And she also made sure I understood that there are different types of smart - book smart, street smart, smart at communicating, smart at games, etc - and not to take myself too seriously just for being so smart at school.
Of course, you haven’t mentioned the teasing/torturing by other children when they realize you’re different - which for me started around 3rd or 4th grade - and I think that’s maybe the harder part about not being in a specifically “gifted” classroom. I was called all those names - and it was bad for a few years but actually the best thing for me was to go to summer camp, make lots of friends without the school environment, and transfer my new found confidence and social skills back home.
Good luck - but honestly one of the most important thing a very smart person needs to figure out is how to exist in the regular old world. Some parts of which will be easier for him - and some, that much harder because he will notice, and remember, and maybe care about things that others don’t or won’t.
Stacy // Sep 17, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Sj,
Your comments were awesome . I loved your ideals on other smarts and mental challenges besides school. Good Call!!! My comments were a little narrow minded thanks for opening my view.
Megin Hatch // Sep 18, 2007 at 5:21 am
One of the dangers in my mind is that teachers just don’t always “get” the kids.My son is a total chatterbox. The work comes really easy to him, so he chats up his classmates all day.
This year I am trying to embrace the concept of Afterschooling. It’s similar to homeschooling but done after school and on weekends. This is a great time to offer different opportunities for learning. Depending on what you’re after you can design activities or opportunities around that. This doesn’t apply just to gifted kids, but to all kids. Whether you want to foster his social skills, math skills, reading, motor, whatever- create opportunities. For those who need new deeper challenges, an honest conversation can help define it. Learn to build something together, or research your next vacation destination- including maps and budgets and entertainment…
I know you do this Whit- many of us do without even thinking about it. A little bit of foresight and planning can extend an afternoon playing putt-putt or bowling into an afterschooling experience.
The comments here offer great suggestions. Really inspiring!
IntheFastLane // Sep 18, 2007 at 8:19 am
We do a ton of enrichment activities. But none of them are specifically set up that way. We tend to follow our children’s interests and run with them. For the last few years, my 8 year old has been fascinated with space and astronauts and rockets. It is easy to keep finding more information and cool things he can learn about space. Now that he is a great reader it is fun to pick out books he would like or websites he can check out. Has anyone seen the cool “Sky” function in the new release of Google Earth? Awesome. My 12 year old loves to read and write and we find all sorts of ways to encourage this as well. This is nothing formal or really even planned - this is just and extension of who we are as parents.
However - when it comes to school choice - there is not much choice in our area, unless you want your kids going to a Catholic school. And unless I wanted to quit my job and sell my house, we are not able to homeschool at this time.
It is becoming less of an issue for my daughter as the middle school has some good advanced classes available. But, what do you do when your 8 year old passes his “pre-tests” that they give him at school? I am going to suggest at conferences that maybe he can be given a different set of spelling words or harder math problems - but the teacher has 24 kids and he can’t give each child an individualized set of classwork. And if I give him harder work then we will be even further ahead of the classwork.
I am at the point of wondering if grade acceleration might work for my son. I am not sure I am ready to bring this one up though.
SJ // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:12 am
Stacy, I’m glad my comments hit home with you! I hope I remember all of this as my son gets bigger!
My mom had the chance to have me skip a grade, but she realized (I think correctly) that it would not have been good for me socially (my bday is in August, so I was already on the younger side of my grade, plus I did need some time to develop more interpersonal kid skills). So I think as far as skipping a grade, it really depends on your child’s temperament and how it would work for him socially to be with older kids.
I did have some friends in high school who had skipped a grade - some of whom it worked well for, and others I think were always feeling like they couldn’t quite catch up (think about the social dynamics of high school, like dating and drivers licenses - this seemed to be harder on the boys- it seems minor compared to academics but these are so big to teenagers!) and those things can turn around and influence academic performance too (in both good and bad ways, as I said).
Megin Hatch // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:17 am
ITFL: My kid’s 2nd grade teacher sent home a list of a couple hundred challenge spelling words. The weeks that kids score 100% (or close) on their spelling pretest the parents choose 3 bonus words to include in the test at the end of the week. It is hard to customize the work for 20+ kids, but this is a small but effective way to do it!
Also, if the work coming home is too easy we do “extra credit” on the back of the page. Doesn’t help with the school time work, but helps keep my son interested in homework. It’s not always “harder” by definition, but it’s a different way to think about it- maybe a more interesting presentation.
Boy, grade acceleration brings up a whole new set of concerns, eh?
IntheFastLane // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:19 am
My 8 year old turned 5 in July when the cutoff for kindergarten was July first. So, he is almost a full year older than some of his classmates. It was a good thing emotionally that he turned 6 before he started kindergarten, but he has matured a TON since then. Now I am not sure what the best thing for him would be. I am still mulling it over.
Stephanie // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:36 am
My daughter is also very bright, and just starting kindergarten. She’s a more difficult kind of student in some ways. She learns fast when she wants to, but hates to be taught. She can read a little bit already, but is struggling with doing it regularly because she isn’t used to having to work at things. What she does has always come naturally.
She’s getting the idea, though. She started up for a while with the “I’m smarter than you” bit, and we explained that while yes, she is smart, working hard is just as important, and lots of people are smart. Gave her food for thought, and she’s starting to realize that she has to try to learn, not just wait for it to happen.
Catch Her In the Wry // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:50 am
I was able to homeschool during the early years since I was self-employed. Then my two girls (IQ 160+) skipped several grades to enter public high school early. They never had a problem socially with the older high school students. Of course, they had friends their own ages outside of school. Now in their early 20s, they tell me they are so glad that they were not forced to spend endless hours being bored in the classrooms.
Experts told us that gifted children, when not challenged will do two things: either become bored and withdrawn or become a class clown/ troublemaker. Repetitive busy work is not the answer, but something many schools will offer gifted kids.
Grade acceleration works as long as you balance it with outside socilization with children who have similar social skills as your child. We had Girl Scouts, park district activities, and other youth organizations.
nan // Sep 19, 2007 at 5:31 am
Grade acceleration worked for my middle son, who is now 8. I actually fought it, because I thought “high school at 10 years old? Are you out of your MIND??” but the teachers and other “experts” were unanimous. He HAD to start school young. he is also challenged at school, though not in an oficial gifted program. He is extremely sociable, and loves the play at school. “afterschooling”, or as we call it “unschooling”, is great too. He does plenty of stuff after school, and our holidays are full of learning experiences. The BEST thing in the world, though, is reading. Sam reads voraciously, and the school has an excellent library. He is systematically teaching himself everything in the world. Books are his lifeline.
http://www.giftedbooks.com/bk0910707243.html
http://www.gt-cybersource.org/Results.aspx?NavID=1_0&catid=105&typeid=273&sid=4&acat=Gifted%20Resources&atype=Reading%20Lists
One problem is finding challenging books for a child who is a *child* but reads like a teenager. Check those lists for “safe” options. Another idea: books written long ago, like old classics. The language is challenging but the content is safe. No teenaged angst!
My eldest is similar, but grade acceleration would not have worked for him. He is just a different kind of kid!
IntheFastLane // Sep 19, 2007 at 7:00 am
I agree on finding age appropriate books. Although my 8 year old is very happy with all of the hand me downs from his sister (right now), his sister (who is 12) has read everything she could get her hands on since 1st grade. Now I have to make sure that the books I loan her from my collection are appropriate for 12 year olds. It is amazing how many, otherwise good books are not ok for a young teen. But, you are right that delving into the classics helps.
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