Working Mom and I are expecting our second baby girl in November! By New Year’s Eve, I’ll be a stay-at-home dad to two girls under 3.
I’m so screwed.
I feel completely competent as a stay-at-home parent, sometimes. (Some rare and brief times, but some times all the same.) Last Wednesday, for example, I was lifting a tribe of toddlers, my two-year old Boobaby included, up to the playground high bar intended for teenagers, then letting them fall and catching them just before they landed in a heap of broken legs and collarbones. Scream, giggle, repeat. And — no injuries! After two years, I told myself, I’ve got this dad thing down.
Then a playground mom joined us, one of those parents who makes everything look easy despite having three kids under 5. Her 2-year old girl wanted up on the bar, too, and I gleefully realized that there was no way she’d be able to manage it with her baby in a sling. So, expert and chivalrous dad that I imagined myself to be, I offered to perform the lifting services.
“Oh, no need, I’ve got it,” she replied kindly, hoisting her joyful little kid around the bulky Baby Bjorn and adding a little spin just for good measure. Then mom herself swung a bit from the high bar, landing with a pirouette and kick, to the delight of all the kids. My formerly rapt audience of toddlers immediately began emulating her ballet moves.
As I watched, the mom of three skipped cheerfully away up the stairs, supplying boob, bottle, and juice box as she balanced infant and toddlers in what seemed a round half-dozen arms. My spirits sank.
I feel momentarily successful as a parent and house-husband maybe three times a week at the outside. On those rare occasions, Boobaby has been fed, the house would be theoretically presentable to theoretical guests, the laundry is done enough so we have a few days of clean underthings, and dinner is either planned or given up on. I’ve even been known to have a few minutes to read the Sunday paper, although not usually until Wednesday or so.
To sum up: with one kid — moreover, a toddler who can play independently for 20 minutes — I’m scraping by. My time outweighs my responsibilities — but only by the barest margin.
But when I have two kids to handle? When our family is joined by another infant, a new nap schedule, and gallons of pumped milk to defrost and manage? I haven’t the faintest clue in the world how I’m going to handle that.
All I know for sure is that I will. Somehow.
by Doodaddy
Photo graciously provided by colodio, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
6 responses so far ↓
Nan // Jun 27, 2008 at 5:55 am
Doodaddy, you will be totally fine. I had the same sense of terror with my second… And WORSE with my third… The early days are hard, just when you think you have it figured out the baby drops a nap or starts teething, but it gets easier every day. And might I say, more joyful and marvelous and AMAZING every day. See my blog for end-of-term shameless parental pats on back!
Chris // Jun 27, 2008 at 6:13 am
With two,
It’s harder, it’s easier.
It’s harder, it’s easier.
It’s harder, it’s easier.
It’s harder, it’s easier.
It’s harder, it’s easier.
It’s harder, it’s easier.
It’s harder, it’s easier.
Life with two young children under one roof has its challenges, no denying it, but OMG the joys are stupendous. There’s nothing like the moment your first born meets your second or the sound of them squealing with delight as they chase each other around the house.
Personally, I found the first year with two relatively easy. The older one actually required more of my attention than the baby. Baby was fairly portable, napped a lot, and was usually easy to satisfy. The second year with two is when things feel apart for me. Suddenly we had two independently mobile kids, going in different directions, one swift-moving, the other in that dangerous period of figuring out how to make his legs work without smashing his face into the floor. Now, we’re in year three and got a good groove on. You’ll find yours, too.
Doodaddy » Our Second Blessed Event Is Gonna Kick My Ass // Jun 27, 2008 at 4:02 pm
[...] It gets bad from there. To read the rest of the post at GNM Parents, click here! [...]
Veronica // Jun 27, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Just blog about it lots, because come the end of January I am going to need all the advice I can get.
GoaldeeBug // Jun 27, 2008 at 11:57 pm
You realise that this person was an alien, sent to make you feel totally inadequate, right?
There is not a human being on earth who could do what you just described.
You will be just fine, you will muddle through having two kids just as well as the rest of us muddling parents who have no clue what we are doing. My youngest is 20 (I had 3 under 3) and I am still waiting for the maternal gene to kick in.
Debbie // Jun 28, 2008 at 2:52 pm
We STARTED with two, since we adopted them both at the same time. (My brother has pointed out that we can’t reminisce about what it was like when we had only one.) Administratively it’s a bit of a pain, but we love having two, and one of the big reasons is that we simply can’t focus on only one of them. No neurotic controlling; we have to give up and do the best we can. I believe that having two has rendered us more relaxed (= more able to have fun) than we would be if we had only one child.
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