I’m tired. – For 6 months a year, give or take a few weeks, we raise our kids alone. No baby sitters. No family to take them for the weekend. No nothing. Just us, two kids, and heat.
It’s hell. If hell is other people, those other people are small, bored creatures. And my mind is their playground.
Day in and day out, work, children, work, children. No respite. No evening off. No trip to the movies, unless we go alone. If we’re lucky, someone comes to visit us and lets us out for awhile. However, not every visitor does this, which just frustrates us further-while we’re happy you’ve come to visit, please please! …understand that we need a break.
Everyone we talk to makes happy suggestions about babysitters, friends. We don’t have any friends. We don’t know anyone we trust to watch our kids. I don’t trust easily, hell, I rarely trust family members. We don’t have the money pay sitters anyway. They talk about taking breaks from work-can’t do that, since I’m on thin ice since being off sick, and I’m feeling like I’m going to get canned at any minute (so much for the sympathy for others-maybe I should cut off a leg next time). We are stressed to the limit, and wondering what to do.
I’ll be counting down the seconds until my father returns for the winter. Is anyone else in a similar situation? What do you do to ease the constant monotony?
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[tags]kids, children, parents, potty training, toilet training, kindness, respect, incentives, incentivise, rewards[tags]
Photo graciously provided by taylorkoa22, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
1 response so far ↓
Chris // Sep 5, 2007 at 6:41 pm
We don’t have family nearby and don’t have a babysitter we can rely on for both our kids. We have cultivated friendships with the parents of a couple of our 4-year-old’s friends and swap childcare with them and that’s been a lifesaver. We also have a couple neighbors who help us. One 11-year-old girl who adores our kids comes over and watches them occasional afternoons while I work or go to doctor’s appointments (while my husband telecommutes in his basement office), for $2.50/hour (going rate here for a “mother’s helper” and all we can afford). An older couple across the street, with young far-off grandchildren of their own, watches the kids gratis very occasionally. Though they offer often, we’re reluctant to take advantage of their kindness. They kept our then 15-month-old when our 4-year-old had to go to the emergency room, though, and that was such a help.
It takes time, cultivating these relationships. I am so glad, though, that we have them. If I had had to take my nursing toddler to the emergency room with us, I could not have focused on my daughter’s condition and care as I needed to–that one incident was well worth the times I’ve pushed myself out of my shell and talked with my neighbor over the mailbox, even on days I didn’t want to smile and say hi.
Now that my son is able to go for hours without nursing, my husband and I give each other breaks. In fact, we’re instituting a monthly Mom’s/Dad’s Day Off starting Saturday. One weekend day a month, one of us can do whatever we want–have the house to ourself while the other parent takes the kids out for a day or take off for whatever kid-free activity strikes our fancy. I’ve been waiting for this a long time! My husband hunts and that’s what he’ll be doing on his days off this fall and winter. We sat down together a few weeks ago and scheduled our days off thru the beginning of next year. Just knowing those days are coming is a relief for me.
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