Grasshopper New Media Presents...

First, let me say that the early teen years with my kids are inherently awkward. The boys are becoming “guys”, and are now too old for “play-dates” and asking to have a friend sleep over feels weird too-the language we use to master our kid’s social calendar changes radically during this transition from play dates to hanging out with their pals.

My thirteen year old son, in eighth grade, has never been a real social butterfly. He has a few good friends, both male and female, and he’s never been the kid who is just dying to have a friend over, unlike his younger brother. I’ve told him to let me know if he wants to have a friend over or do something social, but that I wasn’t always going to push, so he had to take the lead. And this week, he did in a way that surprised me.

My thirteen year old asked a girl out to the movies. A first date.

I wrote a few weeks ago about my mom handing me one of my old diaries from her basement, which I took home. It was full of pre-teen and teenage angst that made me cringe, even close to thirty years later. I read those silly words and got transported right back to those moments of adolescent angst, of trying to figure out how it all worked, and the depth of the trivia that seemed world-ending at the time.

So when my son told me he had asked a girl out, I was both proud of him and floored at the same time. I remembered my first date, and hearing afterwards that the boy in question told everyone I kissed funny- since I had never kissed anyone who wasn’t a relative up until that point, it’s hardly a surprise, but that was a pretty deep scar for me for many years. As a result, I knew how big a deal that first date could be, at least for the girl involved, even if I couldn’t see it from my date’s point of view.

When I spoke with my son about it, he said that he and the girl had decided that while they both “like-liked” each other, neither was ready for anything serious, so they were looking at this as a practice first date, to see what it would be like. This was so mature, so reasonable and rational, that I was floored, both with the maturity he showed, and an envy that I wish he had been my first date.

My husband, I think in a move designed to torture me, said I should definitely be the chaperone. So the girl’s mom and I worked out the details, and I stressed for several days about how to be invisible in public, how to be the chauffer and the wallet, yet give them their privacy.

Now, as you can imagine, I totally identify with this young lady, and want her first date to be sweet and special. I want my son to be a gentleman, and not lame. And I was the only one who was really nervous here, although there was a fair amount of giggling that occurred, leading me to believe the girl was a little nervous as well. And guess what? The only cool, level headed person was my son. He smiled and was happy, but he was clearly taking it all in stride. He was happy to sit with the young lady while I got dinner (time was too short to do a sit down dinner, so we ended up doing fast food). He held her hand and bought concessions. While some of his conversation at dinner went towards the geeky, it was totally fine, and I was the only one cringing a little inside.

I thought I’d sit in the back of the movie theater and give them their own space, but they wanted me to sit next to them- I sat on the other side of my son from his friend, and just watched the movie. Beverly Hills Chihuahua turned out to be a great choice- a little puppy romance and humor, about the right speed for a first date, versus some overly romantic chick flick or an action movie.

Her parents came and picked her up from our house afterwards, and she gave my son a quick kiss on the cheek. He blushed and later said it made him feel like a million dollars. In the end, I feel like a million dollars that I have raised a son who is way smarter than me, practical and kind, and even in his early teen geekiness, is way cooler than anyone I have ever known.