Jack Jack is going to be three in less than a month. I hardly consider him a toddler; he certainly doesn’t toddle anywhere. Does he have to actually be in preschool to transition from toddler to preschooler? Either way, toddler, preschooler, whatever, he is in a trying stage. We really never had a terrible two’s stage. He has always been such a sweet boy. But, as he changes from a two-hour-a-day napping toddler into a non-napping preschooler, his terrible side has been showing its scary face.
We are getting the talking back. We are getting a little boy who refuses to listen. We are getting the monster that does the exact opposite of what we ask. We are getting a little person that shuts the door when we ask for it to be open and opens the door when we ask for it to be closed. We are getting a kid who wants to do everything himself, reasonable or not. We are getting spitting. We are getting the tantrums from not getting another cookie. We are getting tears when the socks are not exactly straight and the shoes have “bumps” in them. We are getting a stubborn two year old who refuses to wear his coat even when he was shivering. We are getting limit pushing and boundary pulling. My husband mentioned that he thought we were raising a spoiled tyrant. But, really, he is a normal almost-three-year-old and it is our job to teach and encourage and to lovingly guide our little monster.
In my attempt to retain any ounce of patience that I could possible muster, I decided that I would remain calm no matter what. To accomplish this, I have been trying to pay attention to the details, not rush and really watch the way Jack Jack moves and is a part of his environment. I can’t say that this has created the supreme patient parent, or the most obedient child ever. We still have places we have to be at and things we have to do that require some sort of deadline. But, it has allowed me to appreciate the amazing and funny things that Jack Jack does just because that is who he is.
It was bath-time. Jack Jack had barely made it through dinner. He had two timeouts during our family meal time. One for jumping out of his chair for the third time and closing the sliding door, after he had been asked not to. The third time, you could see it in his eyes, he was doing it just to see what kind of reaction he would get. The reaction was a swift, but calm time out. His second timeout was for climbing under the table and growling and clawing at Violet’s feet. He claimed he was a monster. But, he was told that even monsters are not allowed to hurt people and have to sit in their monster chairs during dinner. When he did it again, another time out was the result. I stayed calm. I did not yell. I did not argue. I gave simple explanations and simple consequences.
When dinner was over I told Jack Jack that it was bath time. Normally, getting Jack Jack up the stairs and into the bathroom takes some repeating myself, some rushing to try to get yet another thing done, some trickery to convince Jack Jack that he really does want to get in the tub now, and not hide, naked, behind the china cabinet in the kitchen. But, this night, I was calm. I told him it was time to go and I walked slowly, but determinedly toward the direction of the bath.
Jack Jack followed. And while he did, I peeked over my shoulder at the dance he was doing. Have you ever noticed that three year olds never just walk somewhere? They run, they dance, they shimmy, their little bodies are moving to a beat that only they can hear and it is adorable. Jack Jack continued his little dance as he followed behind me. Sometimes he would hum, sometimes he would sing, sometimes he made monster noises and laughed. The entire trip from our kitchen to the bathroom, lasted less that three minutes, but it was three minutes of watching a dance that that I often overlook in my rush to “get things done.” It is was the dance of the young child, a dance that soon ends and the child is suddenly all grown up, weary of dancing again in front of the judging eyes of their peers. It was a dance that reminded me of all of the little things that make toddlers and preschoolers so lovable. It was watching this dance that helped me put aside my frustrations and appreciate Jack Jack for who he is.
What are the little things that remind you of why you love and appreciate your child?
Photo graciously provided by the author, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
5 responses so far ↓
angeljoy // May 21, 2008 at 5:45 am
They DO dance, shimmy, shake and jump everywhere they go! I just wonder at the energy that powers those little bodies…My sweet girl walks around singing these day. It’s so sweet to hear the soundtrack from Mary Poppins coming out of her mouth! She has “children” that go around with her and she talks to them (holding both sides of the conversation, of course). Sometimes, I have to exercise patience because we have to wait for the “children” to catch up with us, get out of the car, etc. Love childhood.
Slouching Mom // May 21, 2008 at 11:01 am
oh i can SO see jack jack doing that dance.
i love watching my kids in the bath — it’s when they feel free to be giddy and goofy and joyful.
Megin Hatch // May 21, 2008 at 11:16 am
2 has absolutely nothing on 3. Terrible twos, in my opinion are a misnomer-
It’s a riot how I can read what you write and almost think things like-
Isn’t it great that he’s so comfortable and trusting to test this way-
etc.
But you know, it’s nonsense- true? sure. But nonsense because when it’s my kid there is no sunny side- only exhaustion.
As exhilarating and rewarding and exciting and pleasing as this whole parenting thing is, the biggest bullet on the job description is: must withstand complete exhaustion for interminable amounts of time.
But an example of the fuel for the journey- things I love and appreciate and hope never ever to forget:
For the past few sunny Sundays Lucy has been spending a block of time in the afternoon spinning and twirling and shouting church hymns at the top of her lungs. Then when she spies you watching her she asks you to leave her alone and starts again. Her 6 year old brother giggles and encourages her, her 8 year old brother declares it embarrassing. But I am pretty sure he means she should be embarrassed, not that he is.
Lori // May 21, 2008 at 11:49 am
Oh, I love that 3 year old dance!!
There isn’t much that I don’t find adorable about my 3 year old these days, I have to say. They are just so darn cute! I think my current favorite is her constant narration of her own life. She literally sounds like she is writing a story. This morning she was having difficulty putting on her coat, but insisted on doing it herself (yes, typically 3). As she continued to wrestle with the arms of the coat she said out loud to no one in particular, “Sometimes little girls have trouble putting on coats. Coats can be tricky. But little girls can still do it if they try!” I’m not kidding… she talks like this all the time!
InTheFastLane // May 21, 2008 at 7:05 pm
A.J. - it is that patience that is the hardest. There are so many places that adults have to be.
S.M. - Bath time does crack me up, again when I remember to take my time.
M.H. - It is always funnier when it is someone else’s kid
The singing is funny. It is amazing how soon they get self conscience.
Lori - That is great that she has the positive self talk going! Cute and will serve her well for years to come.
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