It is fascinating to watch two children of the same age and that are exposed to the same home environment develop into two distinct little individuals. Every now and then someone will say “Don’t compare them.” While I agree that it is not good to compare one child to the other, I think it is OK to make note of their differences.
Last week I wrote about Miss K, who is a Copy Cat. She wants what everyone else has, except at dinner time - she doesn’t want what any of us are eating. She wants to play with the exact toy her sister has and throws a fit when Miss A “Won’t share.” Miss A, on the other hand, is very independent and very much her own self. She has a habit that she, no doubt, inherited from her Daddy and is not shared by her sister. She is a Pack Rat!
The moment we buy a new toy it immediately is placed into one of many holding spots Miss A has created for her things. She has a brown moose purse that she likes to hide items in because it zips. Or the yellow Easter bucket that I haven’t been able to get her to part with, is full to the brim of plastic animal figurines. Sometimes she’ll hide her toys in her pockets - never to be found again (at least until laundry time).
The other night I purchased a package that had 4 miniature BarbiesTM along with one dog. I was a little nervous about how sharing the “dog” would create tension between Miss K and Miss A, but figured that was just another lesson about sharing (my poor daughters know too much about sharing already as I make them share most everything - I can see them as adults despising the word “share” and refusing to part take in such activity).
Anyway, a few nights ago Miss A was playing with the dog, which is about the size of the tip of your thumb, interpretation: it’s very small. Miss K has been asking about the dog ever since. I cannot find it anywhere! I’ve looked in all of Miss A’s normal hiding spots. I think she knows where it is but she is not telling me for fear Miss K will play with it for five minutes (Miss K tends to lose interest fairly quickly).
Although Miss A’s “pack ratting” drives me crazy sometimes I consider it a trait good to have, within reason. I’m a minimalist so I’ve thrown out everything from my childhood and even some items from my adult life that I wish I would have kept. I’ll say to my mom or my husband, “Why didn’t I keep that?” And they’ll just shake their heads because they know I cannot help myself. As for Miss A, I hope that someday she’ll find a good middle ground and keep the trinkets full of the memories worth saving, I know she’ll do a better job than I did.
So, are you or your family members pack rats or a minimalists?
by Kelly Damron
Photo graciously provided by cgines, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
1 response so far ↓
AmyL // Jul 28, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I’m more of a minimalist, although I’m willing to keep things for sentimental reasons.
2 of my 4 boys are “things boys” as I call them. I knew it with TechnoBoy when he was about a year old and we were visiting my sister. I’d set up the pack’n'play in her bedroom and put him down in it. When we checked, we noticed he’d swiped several coins and trinkets from her dresser and was sleeping with all of the items carefully arranged in a circle about him.
The Manager is more likely to keep paper items. He has a stack of papers that he treasures.
With both boys, I’ve worked hard at getting them used to prioritizing their items and only keeping things they really treasure. A few times a year we go through bedrooms and purge out any trash or broken toys as well as outgrown items. After that, we go through the treasures and they decide whether to keep or toss their things.
I do encourage them to get rid of some stuff, but am careful to be supportive of anything they choose to keep. A really helpful technique with The Manager (age 5) was to suggest he keep “anything that makes him smile”. I wish I had a video of him going through his papers and deciding whether or not something made him smile, all the while chattering and exclaiming over the treasures. It was adorable. He did get rid of about half the papers that time, which was impressive.
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