They’re out there. Those “other” mothers. The ones with the perfectly pressed locks, bangs never out of place who just seem so, well, together. They are the moms that I imagine must have been those lucky creatures who glowed during pregnancy, who pushed twice and gave birth to a baby with a perfectly shaped head. Their children never had sleep issues, never had tantrums, never were picky eaters. They look perfect by the pool in their string bikinis while little Emma floats nearby. They know what’s up. They know somehow, some way how to make being a mom seem natural. No, they make being a mom look easy.
And they regularly make me want to throw a shoe at them.
Oh, yeah. They also wrote a book. I picked it up because the title seemed humorous- What the Other Mothers Know: A Practical Guide to Child Rearing Told in a Really Nice, Fully Way that Won’t Make you Feel Like a Complete Idiot the Way All Those Other Parenting Books Do.
I suppose if you’re a west coast mama with a need to be über-mom, maybe this book is for you. It’s written by a comedy writer, casting director, and singer/actress, and Mariska Hargitay, Camryn Manheim, and Peri Gilpin lent promotional blurbs. Plus, it tells you how to suck up to the soccer coach to get your kid more playing time, get little Zoey into the best prep schools and play groups, and even that baby wipes take chocolate ice cream stains out of pants. They admit that being a mom is hard work–that’s the whole impetus behind this book. But they want to help you make it look easy.
The more I read, the more tiresome the book became. It’s supposed to be funny, but most of its comedy falls fairly flat. Most distressingly, it gives new mothers the information they need to be those “other mothers.” But they’re not just talking about being more experienced moms; they’re talking about being a certain kind of mom–one that needs multiple bouncy seats from a baby shower, has to get little Aiden into the perfect preschool, and embraces the celeb-inspired ideal of motherly perfection. They’re moms who get their husbands to “babysit” occasionally, because we really can’t expect any more from our men than that– right? They’re mom’s who have bought into the notion that you have to be a certain way to be a good mom.
The bottom line? This book claims to ease you into that big club that is motherhood, but lurking under its cute facade is the implication that membership means doing things a certain way.
I’m not sure I’m cut out to be one of those “other” mothers.
by Lisa D.
Photo graciously provided by Paida 70, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
6 responses so far ↓
Rachel // Jul 16, 2008 at 5:49 am
Lisa, I’m so glad to see this review, and I won’t be picking this up any time soon. I have no desire to be an “other mother”. In fact, what I’m really finding distasteful lately is the surge of youg Moms in Hollywood and the media who glow about motherhood- while I agree that being a Mom is rewarding and an amazing feeling, I feel like they could really take the opportunity to speak out against the “Mommy Wars” and talk about some of the difficulties they face by parenthood. After all, we’re all in this (raising the next generation) together, and everyone should do their part to eliminate being judgmental of people who are good parents.
Wow- guess I’m a little idealistic at heart
Lisa D. // Jul 16, 2008 at 6:31 am
That’s the premise of the book– that we’re all in it together, but underlying their community attitude is a very specific type of mothering. It’s not judgmental; it just doesn’t make room for any other point of view. Kind of like, who wouldn’t want to be this kind of mom??
Rachel // Jul 16, 2008 at 6:39 am
Gotcha- then I appreciate their effort, but still prefer not to be the other mother
LOL
Anita B // Jul 16, 2008 at 8:33 am
I had to laugh at the multiple bouncy seat thing! I was told by one of my student’s parents (I taught high school when I became pregnant) that I should ask for a bouncy seat for each room in my house because I really didn’t want to be lugging it around from room to room with a baby on the other arm. How heavy did she think they were? I know her child was graduating, but she gave me his old one, and that has worked pretty well so far!
Cheryl in Sacramento // Jul 16, 2008 at 12:06 pm
You have dashed my dreams of perfection (dramatic sigh)…oh who am I kidding. The only people able to pull off perfect (celebs) are those with baby sitters and maids.
beth nixon // Jul 20, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I’d MUCH rather NOT be one of those moms. They make me suspicious.
I love seeing the dirty, wrinkled moms. The harried ones who haven’t had a hair-cut in 6 months. The ones with kids screaming in the aisles of the supermarket.
Why?
Because then I *really* know I’m not alone and that there are ones just like me and THEN I know I can get through it . . . with moms like that on my side!!
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