It strikes me that there are two kinds of children: those who go from one obsession to the next, each meriting single-minded devotion and zealous allegiance until that moment when tomorrow’s obsession is revealed with all the intoxicating mystery of a new crush … and those who, well, don’t.
I have one of each kind of child.
Ever since he could talk, my older son has pursued his interests with a dedication and fervor I wish he’d show for his homework (I can hear him now: Right, Mom, like THAT would ever happen.) It started with the trains: the Island of Sodor, Thomas the Tank Engine’s quaint village. The child was all of two when he could recite to you every player in and out of the roundhouse, and I don’t mean only the major players. At the bookstore, where children tended to congregate around the train table, my son would chastise another child for coupling Percy with, oh, I don’t know, Diesel. Apparently such a pairing would never be allowed to occur on Sodor.
Later it was dinosaurs that preoccupied my older son 24/7. Once, in the Museum of Natural History in New York City, he wandered in and among a tour of fifth-graders. When the teacher queried the group as to which dinosaur was before them, he shouted, “It’s Deinonychus, of course.” Of course! He was just under five years old.
Since that time he’s cycled through Legos, Bionicles, Yu-Gi-Oh, and lately, Pokémon, with an absorption bordering on pathological.
My younger son? Not so much. I don’t think I could cite one subject area that has captured his interest in a sustained way – except, perhaps, his older brother himself. My six-year-old, he’s a dabbler. It’s not that he’s uninterested in life or its details – far from it. It’s more that he’s an equal-opportunity enthusiast.
I continue to marvel at how two children, born and raised in the same family, can be so fundamentally different from each other.
Do your children fit one or the other of these patterns? Is it your younger child who’s the dabbler?
Photo graciously provided by ElDave, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
10 responses so far ↓
fara // Jul 2, 2008 at 2:19 pm
why yes now that it think of it. my eldest gets a little infactuated. the same song over and over again until he’s mastered it, and the same with movies. how many times could we watch nemo EVERY friday night, then it was cars and currently toy story. my little one, almost 3, has opinions, of course, but sort of thinks first and analyzes the situation and comes up with her preference, where her brother is usually a quick and predictable answer. interesting thought to ponder….. although you have two boys to compare, and i have a 5 1/2 year old boy with special needs and a 3 year little girl, so we have a little more to throw off the comparision.
Heather // Jul 2, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Both of my older two are dabblers, I think. The baby, of course, remains to be seen.
I’d heard from friends about that intense interest in one thing, and kept waiting for that to happen with my kids.
woman in a window // Jul 2, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Different! And how! It’s totally mind boggling to me. Neither of them fixate, although there was a period for my son that he fixated on…well, maybe I’ll just save that for a post. Thanks Slouchy, I needed an idea!
crazymumma // Jul 2, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Don’t even get me started on the Harry Potter phase.
Other than that, unless it is an afternoon obsession….both my girls flit about like mercurial butterflies (oh wait…that implies swift…). I should say they drift from one thought stream to the next practically bumping into each other in their preoccupation with….nothing.
strange little beasts.
JCK // Jul 2, 2008 at 10:22 pm
I feel us edging out of the Island of Sodor, but not quite yet. We’ve had the love affair going on for the last 3 years… That’s my boy.
And my girl…well, she’s a dabbler so far. Although loves to really paint and draw.
Kate // Jul 3, 2008 at 6:35 am
It amazes me too. Baby girl is definately a chaser. It will be interesting to see what this one is like.
Tibbit…you may have something here is your last statement. I am a chaser and the oldest child my two younger siblings are dappers.
Laura from the Fringe // Jul 3, 2008 at 7:00 am
Oh, it never ceases to amaze me how my 3 children can be so different form each other.
I like the variation - but it can be challenging sometimes as they each react to parenting methods very differently!
Thanks for sharing.
Angeline // Jul 3, 2008 at 7:25 am
My elder one started off being very devoted to nothing but cars and 4-wheel machines, but ever since his younger brother could communicate with him, both are dabblers now.
Monica // Jul 3, 2008 at 8:19 am
I knew as soon as I saw the title that Ten was the chaser and Six was the dabbler… I just knew. Ten has that intense look in his eyes.. a focus that can’t be broken. I can picture him doing just what you described. Andy.. I don’t know yet. Right now he’s playing with a red sock. Too early to tell.
Janet // Jul 7, 2008 at 9:17 am
The Queen is DEFINITELY a chaser. I would have called DeBoy a dabbler, but lately he’s becoming more and more interested in things. For example (and a more telling example of my bad parenting), t he only movie he has wanted to watch for over a week is Babes in Toyland. And he will sit and watch all the way through.
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