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Last week, I wrote about Autism. For those who might not know, the symbol of Autism is a ribbon made up of puzzle pieces. I never thought much about this, and just thought it was another symbol, like yellow ribbons for support of the troops, or pink ribbons for breast cancer. Then, my friend Melody, whose 16 year old son has autism, sent me this note this week and asked me to talk about it on my podcast, and I thought it was appropriate to discuss it here as well:

“What started the discussion [on our message board for parents of Autistic kids] was the fact that some pretzel company is now selling puzzle piece pretzels for autism awareness month. When I spoke with Alex about it, it evoked a negative response and I learned quite a lot from it. One mom sent the “I am a person, not a puzzle” comment from a video she saw on line.

While looking on line, I noticed several websites dealing with autism that are even noted as “puzzle piece free” zones because they find it so offensive. It had honestly never crossed my mind that people with HFA would be so offended. I guess it was not just my son. The “I am a person, not a puzzle” statement makes so much sense. I guess I won’t be bringing home the cute pretzels or wearing my puzzle piece jewelry since it seems to offend my son and also a lot of other people.

I guess what we can take from this is to be sensitive to what we send home and to the classroom with a lot of the kids in the program as a parent group. Maybe they don’t like their high school teachers to get puzzle piece items for their gifts, etc. I remember something from Dan Gottleib’s book (Letters to Sam) about how there is a big difference in learning that you are different and from having to “feel” different all the time from other kids. It is OK to be different, but let’s not make our kids feel different. We wouldn’t think of having a wheel chair logo on items used in the classrooms of kids with physical disabilities, so let’s be sensitive to where and how we use the puzzle piece logos.

The logo is important to raise awareness in the community of autism and how prevalent it is, but maybe my child and his classmates do not need to see it all day on their pretzels, staff mugs, umbrellas, etc. They are already well aware of autism and all that comes with it and are trying desperately to fit in with everyone else. I thought I was doing the right thing to plaster that symbol everywhere. There is no need to raise awareness where everyone is painfully aware.

My home will be puzzle piece free after seeing how much it disturbed him. As usual, I have learned a lot from listening to my child.

Melody”

I think many people have never considered how this particular symbol might affect people with autism- they feel like people, not like some big puzzle to be solved or fixed by others.

How many times do people become icons?

We want to buy things to help our favorite causes, and show our support, ranging from the well-known ribbon campaigns to wearing other icons/symbols. But causes are more than just a brand. The “brand” really represents many individuals we are trying to help in a small way, by contributing our money to the cause, as well as helping to spread the word that this organization or social movement exists.

And it’s weird- how many pink ribbon encrusted gifts should you give to someone with breast cancer, until they feel they are becoming all about the disease, and less about them as individuals? Do soldiers really care about the yellow ribbon on the tree, or do they want you to do something else to try to make a difference? Does the awareness itself make a difference?

[Is this how teachers feel with the umpteenth apple themed gift- are they just wishing for a gift card from Borders, or maybe even a letter from a parent saying how well their child is doing and thanking them for helping them grow and develop?]

I don’t know that there is an answer to any of this. I am concerned that we try to put people into a little box with neat labels, and often lose the bigger picture, which is that they are so much more than any “cause” aspect of their life. How much do we try and participate and support causes through a piece of commerce because it’s easy, where getting involved personally is not? How much do these campaigns help?

Melody is right though- we would never think of selling wheelchair jewelry for other disabled students, or items with pictures of crutches/prosthetics to represent injured veterans. While the puzzle piece is not as blatant as this, it does show how others see people with autism, not how the people with autism see themselves.

So how do we handle this thorny issue? When is the symbol become insensitive, because it encourages a quick fix and guilt alleviation in place of real caring and action? how do we keep the people and the symbol from merging into one big blob, seemingly difficult to separate out?

What do you think?

by Whitney Hoffman

[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, perspective, Autism, puzzle piece, negative connotation, respect, understanding, sensitivities[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by brainylagirl, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved