You don’t have to do this one if you don’t want to, but it might be fun, and it might prove to improve your home-life just a touch:
Take a day off
from criticizing your kid.
If the above needs a bit more fleshing out, I mean to suggest that we parents spend a lot of time, I mean *a lot* of time being critical of our kids. Of course, that’s our job, especially if we’re conscientious about it.
But think about your kid and think of what it must be like to be on the receiving end of “helpful tip” after “helpful tip.” How long could you hold out if someone spent some part of every day “helping” you brush your teeth better or dress faster or get better grades or be more polite.
So, in the spirit of the winter holidays, give your kid the gift of a day off from all criticism. Short of them committing violence or theft, let ‘em do what they want. Just for a day, mind you, don’t want to be raising future-felons, just givin’ the wee ones a wee break.
Good luck with it, and let me know how it goes. Also, please remember, I’m not a doctor, and my advice is not to be taken internally.
by Stu Mark
[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, criticism, respite, teaching, helping, rest, relaxation, trust[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by jekemp, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
3 responses so far ↓
thordora // Nov 26, 2007 at 6:17 am
OH how I try and keep this in mind. This weekend was hard, but at least I tried to follow it up with complimenting where applicable.
If only I could get their father to grasp the concept that mocking and critiquing children at every step is not helpful. I love it when I hear my FIL’s voice out of my husband.
Dawn // Nov 26, 2007 at 9:12 pm
wow, what a gift. I usually end up reviewing at the end of the day all things that I didn’t need to say. I need to incorporate more Mindfulness in my life. I’ll give this a try
Amy Nathan // Nov 27, 2007 at 7:14 pm
I’m very conscious of what I say to my kids – and how I say it. Not that I don’t lose my cool or speak my mind, but words are really powerful – and I have kids that have been through the mill. And then some. Actually I’m so hyper-conscious of what I say and what I don’t say that sometimes I know I’m talking to myself. I do criticize my son when he’s driving – and have cut back on that – because it’s distracting. And I think that all criticism distracts us from the good stuff — which is what we should be focusing on anyway.
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