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Violet just started 8th grade last week.  She is a very bright girl who has gotten through school without much work at all.  We have, in the last few years had to remind her a few times that it is ok to push herself a little bit and not just get through with the minimum to get the grades she wants.  But, to a young teenager, there is often not much point in going beyond.  And really when she consistently brings home mostly A’s on her report cards, there is little to complain about.  But, we had seen that she was not always working to her potential.  We have told her often that we do not expect perfection.  But, we do expect that she do her best work, the majority of the time.  There is value in simply having pride in the quality of one’s work.

But, last week, Violet came home with a brand new enthusiasm for learning and school.  A few simple comments from a teacher has her planning ahead for her high school years and beyond.  She has plans that include doing her best in order to give herself the most opportunities possible beyond high school.  She has started asking me to provide her practice opportunities for the SAT.  She has been researching colleges that match up with some of the goals she has for herself.  She proclaimed that she is going to “really focus on her academics.”  In short, she is driven.

As an educator, I have no problem preparing students, early, for the realities beyond middle school.  The earlier that students understand the importance of their education and the implications of the choices they make now, the more likely they are to value and own their educational experiences.  But, as a parent, I realize that life is much more that the grades on a report card, or SAT scores.  It is more than looking good on a college application or getting into the “right” school.  I want Violet to have life experiences that help her grow as a person that go far beyond the classroom.   I want her to be able to form relationships that fulfill her and push her forward.  I want her to find her passions and live them.  I want her to find her voice and use it.  I want her to have positive influences in her life that show her how to live fully and richly.

I want all these things for her.  But, I also think that there is a value in taking advantage of the “now” in our children’s lives.  And if right now she is excited about the possibilites, it is certainly appropriate for me to find ways to help and encourage that excitement. When Violet was in kindergarten and wanted to be a paleontlogist, we encouraged her interest in digging up dinasaurs and we read books about dinasaurs and found out what kind of dinasours we might find if we kept digging in her sandbox in our backyard.  When she was older and had an interest in being a writer, we read with interest her stories and showed her websites on writing and gave her gifts of all different types of literature.  Right now, this interest in her future, is not much different.  I want her to know that we are not pressuring her in anyway, but we will support her interests.  We will be excited for the things that excite her.   And we will support her as she explores all of the many opportunities that await her.

And so, right now, as I write this, Violet is taking a practice SAT test on her own free will.  Considering that she is only in 8th grade, I anticpate that there will be more practice in the years to come.  But, everyday is an opportunity to encourage our children to practice at life.  Yesterday, I told her it was ok to stop and take deep breaths and enjoy the summer air at the beach.  Tomorrow will be another opportunity to take advantage and practice another life skill.  But, by taking advantage of the now, we show our children that we care about what they care about.  And thus, we care about them.

by In The Fast Lane

Photo graciously provided by Marko_K, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved