Grasshopper New Media Presents...

I usually write about Andrew, our son. This time, I want to write about someone else’s children.

We spent time without our children recently. In twenty-five years, this hasn’t happened often and usually only when our children have had other activities. This time, our daughter was in Florida and our son, well, at 21 he can take care of himself.

What was different than our usual trips away was that we spent much of the time with two other families who do have children. Two couples, five children, ages 2 - 8, none of them related to us.

We did tease them a little, the parents that is. When there were children calling for parents, I responded, “not my kids.” That got old. (But it still was fun.)

What it did give us the luxury to do, however, was to watch what other people do. What we discovered is that each families is different and is fine. Each set of parents does parenting slightly differently and does well. Each of the children is different, and both sets of parents are remarkably aware of the nature of their children. All of the children were able to circle close to the adults at just the time when the adults were starting to talk, which is quite amusing when the children aren’t your own. Everyone had moments of being torn between talking and needing to discipline.

What was refreshing to me was that all of these parents took parenting seriously and themselves lightly. They all want to make a difference in the lives of their children. They all want to provide both materially and morally, socially and spiritually. They are committed parents. And they all wonder whether they are doing it right.

I know the feeling. With children 21 and 17, I wonder regularly about whether we are doing it right. And I have spent two decades with those questions.

But after watching our friends, I am confident of this–as we pay attention, as we do the best we know how to do, as we talk with each other about what to do better–we are doing well.

Funny what you can see when you watch someone else.

by Jon Swanson

Photo graciously provided by Pensiero, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved