Don’t you love the feeling?
You pour yourself into your child. You teach and touch and train and restrain. You wonder whether anything is working, whether what you are putting in will ever come out.
And then, one day, someone tells you. Unbeknown to you, your child that argues with everything you suggest is an encouraging member of work groups. The child that cannot get along with a sibling helped a kid who got hurt at recess. The child who “never does anything at home” is the assistant manager who the boss wants to create a full-time position for because of a great work and encouragement ethic.
You get the picture. You know the feeling (at least if you are listening rather than arguing with the compliment).
But this isn’t a post about your children. This is about someone else’s mom or dad. That kid who is so gracious to you in the checkout line? Someone, somewhere, poured that into that kid. If you know her mom, tell that mom about the success of that child. The coworker who is incredibly caring, valuing customers and coworkers alike? If you know which parent or stepparent or aunt or grandfather showed that same caring, send them a note. You can find your own examples.
Ours is not the first generation to wonder whether our children would grow up well. (We just talk about it more.) But there are mothers of fifty-year-old men who are wondering how their child really turned out, whether that time and worry and prayer made a difference.
You can help them relax with a word, a card, a picture, an email.
After all, in 30 years, you’ll be wondering, too.
by Jon Swanson
Photo graciously provided by auer1816, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
3 responses so far ↓
Megin Hatch // Jun 18, 2008 at 10:31 am
Jon-
You know I love this post. I love it.
Nothing feels better than hearing “great job,” particularly about your life’s greatest passion.
I try to do this often, but in reality I don’t put in the effort it deserves.
It’s about filling the cup to the brim again, isn’t it? About pouring yourself into what you do.
My energies are renewed.
Thanks.
STL Mom // Jun 20, 2008 at 6:04 pm
When my son was a baby and went in for his check-ups, the doctor would comment about how healthy he was and would always add, “you must be doing a great job.” I loved that.
And when my son was sick, the doctor would ask what I was doing, then would say, “You’re doing the right thing, but maybe also try…” which was a wonderful way to phrase it.
My mom always says she wouldn’t have survived my teenage years (or maybe I wouldn’t have survived those years) if it wasn’t for other adults telling her what a nice kid I was. Because apparently the nice side wasn’t showing much at home!
selections « Levite Chronicles // Jun 21, 2008 at 3:56 am
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