I wish I could remember dates. I’d be able to tell you how old Andrew was when he smashed my thumb.
It wasn’t his fault, actually. We were playing football in the back yard. He was wanting to practice kicking. I think that he had tried punting. Now he wanted to try kicking field goals.
I was going to hold the ball for him. He started a few steps behind me. I placed one end of the ball on the ground. I put my finger on the other end. I told him to kick.
I watched his foot closely, ready to move my hand at the split-second before he kicked it.
I was watching his right foot so closely that I never saw his left foot smash into my thumb. I grabbed my hand and rolled onto my back. I was in the land beyond words. Andrew stood over me looking down, apologetic, wondering what to do to help.
I knew it wasn’t his fault. I was so focused on what I expected that I had missed that, while right-handed, Andrew is left-footed. If I had paid attention, I would have noticed this before. He had been playing soccer for 2-3 years already. I had seen him kicking a ball a thousand times. But because I was right-footed, it had never crossed my mind that someone could be left-footed.
It became an asset for him in his soccer career. It left him play the left-side of the field moving toward th goal with confidence. It made him distinctive.
I’m pretty sure that there have been other times when I focused on the wrong foot, the wrong outcome, the wrong strength. I’ve looked for ways in which Andrew ought to look like me. I’m pretty sure that I’ve paid the price. I’m afraid, however, that sometimes Andrew’s paid the price, too.
So when have you gotten kicked in the thumb and in the process discovered more of your child’s unique gifts?
by Jon Swanson
Editor’s P.S.: Today, Monday 4/28 is World Comment Day! So scatter some comments and add to some conversations as you bounce around the www.
Photo graciously provided by Mikey through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
8 responses so far ↓
Anna // Apr 28, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Sometimes it seems like my parenting experience has been one big swift kick in the thumb.
Zena Weist // Apr 28, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Great story, we are so busy trying to raise our kids in our rush, rush, rush lifestyle that we forget to step back and watch, to see how great they are all on their own - so bam! we get kicked in the thumb!
Stu Andrews // Apr 28, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Joe, great story. It’s happened to me a few times. One particular moment involves our eldest son. And it’s not a singular moment either.
He is incredibly sensitive. This can be one of the most frustrating characteristics. There are so many times I focus on the ease with which he takes offense, or carries on with the hurt.
But he is incredibly sensitive. My focus above is in error. He has a great and humbling gift to know the ebb and flow of what is going on around him. In tune more than most anyone else. And instead of worrying about how easy he gets offended I should be giving him a hug and strengthening his character.
Course, sometimes it’s just a kid being naughty. Heh.
Stu Andrews // Apr 28, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Jon, APOLOGIES! My comprehension skills are rather lacking in .. skill. Feel free to edit my last comment to read “Jon” instead of “Joe”.
Melle // Apr 28, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Not parenting, but when we took my brother and sister-in-law out for sushi, three of us knew how to use chopsticks well already, and my brother didn’t. I helpfully demonstrated how to use them - with my right hand. To my brother who’s been left-handed as long as we’ve both been alive. FAIL!
He figured it out much faster when I stopped “helping”.
Jon Swanson // Apr 28, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Stu - It’s better than the usual joHn. Great understanding.
Our skills, gifts, attributes are both blessing and bane. For example, sensitive is a weakness AND a strength (I understand too well). What it means is that we need to work together.
The Strength-finder research is very helpful here.
Zena - i like the image of stepping back and watching. Great image.
Anna. It is. The whole idea of parenting is that huge unexpected unpredicted thing. Though it is usually not as excruciating as my thumb was, there are moments…
Jon Swanson // Apr 28, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Melle - i love the helping by quitting helping.
Stu Andrews // Apr 28, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Too, with a characteristic like “Sensitivity”, you can work hard to hone the good skills, and lower the bad skills.
Ha. What I mean is .. in my own life I’ve tried to work hard at being more sensitive to others, while directing my own taking offense into healthy responses, like examining myself for fault. Honesty with self.
Turning weaknesses into strengths is what i’m talking about i think. Gah. Too much thought. Must get back to coding :).
Leave a Comment