“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
- Anais Nin
Over the past couple of weeks I have written a bit about why it’s important to bond with other parents. It can be difficult to meet people, and then really connecting with them presents another challenge. It really isn’t unlike dating. There are worries that you may come across as over eager. What if you just aren’t her type? Is she already seeing someone else? What if she turns you down?
Taking the first step can cause a bit of anxiety, but it’s worth the risk if there is a chance of really making a friend, or expanding your circle of friends. As hokey as it sounds, friends can make or break who you are and how you live. Negativity breeds negativity, but when you surround yourself with people who are encouraging and understanding (and have a sense of humor), it carries over to your familial relationships and lightens your load. I am not pretending that friendships are more important than relationships with a spouse, children, parents or siblings, but I do maintain that solid friendships can positively impact the other relationships in your life. That’s why I am passionate about this topic.
So, get over that fear of rejection and put yourself out there. Here are a couple of easy ideas to take that first step:
1. Host a Home Party: It’s not all about Tupperware anymore. You can host a Barefoot Books party, a Discovery Toys party, a Pampered Chef party, there are home decor parties, food parties, jewelry parties, make-up parties, clothing parties, and the list goes on and on. The concept is simple, as is the execution. A sales person comes into your home and gives a demonstration of their products. You invite friends, family, and potential friends to partake. I am always up for attending one of these parties, especially when the host lets me know ahead of time that there is no pressure to buy. Let your invitees know that it’s really an excuse to get together. Mingle, and look for what you may have in common with your guests. Ask questions. When the party is over, call your potential friends and thank them for coming. Let them know you enjoyed their company.
2. Host a Swap Party: This is the same idea as #1, however, the idea is that you gather to swap various items. Chose a theme, some examples are accessories, soups, desserts, kid clothes, toys, books (adult or kid), and wine or beer. The idea is simple, people bring an item or items to swap. People peruse the items will enjoying appetizers or desserts, and leave with something new or new to them.
3. Host a Girlfriend Party: Invite your friends and acquaintances to a party. I attended a summer party that was mostly outdoors on a warm summer night. Everyone brought a little something to eat and drink and most importantly a friend. This is a great way to grow a group of fiends. There were several “getting to know you” games complete with prizes, as well as a lot of story-telling and mingling.
What kinds of getting to know you activities have you heard of or participated in?
Stay tuned for tips on deepening existing friendships, and ideas for new ways to spend time with old friends!
[tags]parenting, friendship, mom friends, connecting with other moms and dads[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by 油姬
5 responses so far ↓
Slouching Mom // Apr 11, 2007 at 11:52 am
Megin — I agree wholeheartedly about the importance of friends. Friends have kept me living in a small town I might otherwise have left long ago. But some of us (read: me) are too reserved for parties and have had to find our friends more serendipitously…
I have found the children’s library to be a wonderful place for finding like-minded moms and potential friends.
Oh, and I had to laugh at this:
This is a great way to grow a group of fiends.
I hope you meant friends, not fiends! Hah!
Colleen // Apr 11, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Megan - I agree too on the importance of friends. Big believer in the old girl scout song - “make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and one is gold.” I try really hard to keep my old friends (high school and college). It can be lots of work to keep the connection - it is well worth it though. I love the many “new friends” I have made over the years. I too think the library is a good place to meet other moms. Some of my best mom friends were met at a children’s program at the library.
As far as getting to know you activities:
Have you seen the Naked Lady Party Idea? Kinda like a swap thing.
http://www.getcrafty.com/home_nakedlady.php
Book Clubs are great ways to get to know people.
Picture sharing of certain themes (before I was a mommy, best vaction, wedding…)
Also
Amy Bailey // Apr 11, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Megin
We have a “gourmet club” in our ‘hood, where we all get together once a month in someone’s home. Everyone chips in a few dollars for drinks in a cute little can, we all bring something to munch, (soooo Not gourmet!) and we have a great time! No pressure to dress up, no pressure to show up on time. It’s been a bonding experience, and a forum for venting collective mom/wife frustrations. (sorry dads) It’s intimidating going the first few times, but it’s amazing how many people look for new “fiends” and truly want them. : )
A few themes we use:
Bring old pictures night! A Blast!
Bunco night
Wear your old bridesmaids dress night!
Martini night
Cookie exchange
Summer Tiki
Chris // Apr 12, 2007 at 12:01 am
Late last year I was looking over a friend’s collection of Martha Stewart Living magazine clippings. My friend is so NOT Martha, but she loves getting ideas from her magazine (as do I). Anyway, as we commiserated about how we never have kid-free time to work on the cool projects we drool over in MS Living, I decided to make a New Years resolution to craft more and invite my friends to do the same. In January, we had our first monthly “Get Your Martha On” get-together. We spend a Saturday, from 10-4 or so, doing whatever craft we want to at someone’s house while the dad’s take care of the kids. Everyone brings a snack or potluck item, so we don’t get hungry while we work. Sometimes the host introduces the rest of the group to a new craft or we just all bring our own projects and work on them. It’s been a lot of fun and is a great creative outlet for us.
Megin Hatch // Apr 13, 2007 at 6:19 am
These are GREAT ideas.
Slouching Mom- I wrote a bit about libraries and other ways to meet folks last week in part one- http://www.gnmparents.com/step-one-how-to-make-mom-or-dad-friends/
These activities are a great way to real feel like a part of the community!
Colleen- love the naked lady thing. and the photo sharing is totally great and easy!
Amy- We do potlucks, too. I can’t wait to incorporate some of your theme ideas!
Chris- I love it! I am so not Martha, but I love the idea of getting together to craft. I bet I would feel inspired by what others were doing!
I just finished reading “Angry Housewives Eating Bon-Bons” by Lorna Landvik. It’s about a group of women who meet over the course of 3 decades for a monthly book group. It was wildly entertaining and in lots of ways inspiring to maintain female friendships.
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