I will, eventually, be faced with the decision of having Erin start school at four and a half, or the choice of deferring for a year. She would continue to have a paid nursery place during the year’s deferment. What would you do and why?
[tags]quick question, parent, kids, daycare, preschool[/tags]
13 responses so far ↓
t-bird // Feb 10, 2007 at 8:21 am
I’m a home schooler so I’m not entirely unbiased here! In much of continental Europe they don’t do anything formal much before 7 and they seem to do okay for themselves.
If she can stay in a play-based setting and there will be other children she already knows staying there with her I’d keep her where she is. If however all her buddies are off to “real school” come September then she is going to feel awfully left out when she’s let with all the “babies”
What does she want to do?
Erica // Feb 10, 2007 at 10:36 am
Well, at the moment she is only one.
If we decide to defer we would keep her in private nursery until she is 3 (part paid by government) and then move her to state nursery to time it for being in the class that she will move up with ie so she won’t be feeling like she has been ‘held’ back.
Alternatively if we decide not to defer she would start state nursery when she is two and a half, that just sounds so young!
Megin Hatch // Feb 10, 2007 at 1:24 pm
I think the most important thing about 1st “school” experiences is socialization and learning how to function in a group setting. There are a lot of ways to provide that outside of school settings.
I am not a home schooler- but I consider myself a supplementer. We do a lot of special projects at home- so I am all for holding off until the kid’s older. Every kid is different though- my middle child is really benefiting from a nursery school experience (4 hours a week).
I think it’s about seeing who Erin is when she’s closer to the point where you need to make this call- and as always- trusting your gut,
-M
Erica // Feb 10, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Yeah, I mean for state nursery she’ll need to be pretty independant ie manage toilet trips herself, putting shoes on etc….
So I think ultimately Erin will decide.
Whitney // Feb 10, 2007 at 2:37 pm
It’s really all about child development, and when they reach the appropriate stages. Think about why you want to hold her back, versus what she might be best suited for- sometimes (and I’m not syaing this is always the case, or the case with you) parents make school decisions based on convenience to them, finances, and other factors that are very external to what’s ideal for the kid.
Balancing family issues versus kid issues is difficult. For several years, for example, I drove my child to a school that was 45 minutes from our home (each way!) so I ended up spending the better part of 4 to five hours in the car every day. The school was expensive. The drive was inconvenient. But the education James got was the what he needed, and what was best for him.
So my bias is towards doing what is best for the kids.
Erica Douglas // Feb 10, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Thanks Whitney, by far the most convenient (and cheap) decision would be not to defer, but I agree with you, I’d rather be poor and know that I did what was right for Erin
Cost and convenience won’t really affect the decision we make. It’s all about whether 2 and a half is too young to be in that setting for 10 hours a week and whether she’ll be ready for it also.
I have had it pointed out to me that at the other end, if she goes to uni she will be only 17, and thus unable to go to pubs etc with her peers…I ‘m not sure how important this is?
Stu Mark // Feb 10, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Many, many great points here. Fantastic!
One of the last was essentially, “What about university?” I can say this: While I went to university (college) in a state that didn’t allow alcohol drinking until age 21, it didn’t matter. However, being with peers was not overly pleasant, which was why I ended up hanging around with older, more mature kids.
My wife spent her first semester of college at age 16. She says that her experience was nice, but she hid her age, to appear older. The drinking age in her state was 18, which kept her from going to pubs with some of her friends. Out of 100% of her total social experience at that age, she says that the no-pubbing issue was about a 25% unhappiness.
Erica Douglas // Feb 10, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Very interesting Stu…. 25%….I’d say that was pretty high…
inthefastlane // Feb 10, 2007 at 7:37 pm
I have heard in England they start all kids in kindergarten at age 4. Is this correct?
My state has one of the oldest kindergarteners in the U.S. And with my late summer/early fall birthdays for my first two kids they were almost 6 and 6 when they started school. My oldest would have been ok being almost 5 (which she would have done in a lot of other states). But, my second (a boy) would not be doing nearly as well as he is now.
As for my youngest, he will barely be 5 when he is ready to start kindergarten. I should mention also that our state still has half day kindergarten but will probably move to full days before my youngest starts school. To me this will be a decision I will have to seriously consider in a couple year. Because he will be on the young side and will have to go for a full day. Tough choices.
Repeating what others said, I guess it all depends on your child.
Erica Douglas // Feb 10, 2007 at 7:46 pm
I live in Scotland, but it’s pretty much the same around Britain. Kids start nursery at 3 (or 2 and a half depending on birthday) and then school at five (or 4 and a half).
t-bird // Feb 10, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Doh! Why did I not work out you are in the UK….
on the uni question, I think 17 would be awfully young regardless of the drinking question.
and thanks for the info on on-line games, I’ll be setting her up with those tomorrow!
Stu Mark // Feb 10, 2007 at 9:18 pm
t-bird,
My perspective, with regards to 17 being awfully young, is that it depends on the kid. My wife started college at 16, but probably could have done it even earlier, if she could have figured out a way to further compress a quality high school education. She was a competent stand-in house-wife for her own mother at age 11. My son’s almost 15 and he’s still not ready to take care of our house properly.
Now, my daughter on the other hand, she’s 11 and knows about half the stuff I do. And as I force-feed homecare to my son this year, I am positive that Noelle will be watching from behind, learning all of it. She’ll be babysitting in another year. So it depends on the kid. And on the parent. I’m a step-dad, and I didn’t show up into my son’s life until he was almost 8 (the same year his real father looked at his report card and said “Well, I guess he’s not college material,” *with my son in earshot*
I know, I know.
But it proves something to me, that *any* kid is capable of some form of greatness, that it’s the parenting that wins out in the end. My son is now a veritable straight-A student, because I have spent the past 6 years, day-in, day-out, scrubbing that awful remark from my son’s head.
Annie // Feb 11, 2007 at 12:24 am
Ditto on it depends on the kid…
My son began preschool this year and he’s 3. He was previously in the Infant/Toddler Special Needs program with Carlton-Watkins Center (city of Charlotte). He aged out of the program and they automatically transferred him into Charlotte public school.
In Michael’s case, early intervention (the earlier the better) was a good thing.
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