How do you know that you have a good relationship with your child?
[tags]good parent/child relationship, positive parenting, successful parenting [/tags]
Quick Question: Proof of Success
June 5th, 2007 by Megin Hatch · 6 Comments
Tags: Parenting
6 responses so far ↓
Whitney // Jun 5, 2007 at 6:27 am
I still say, you ask them. The interview with Dr. Bob Brooks, where we talk about this very thing, should be up soon- I’ll let you know when it’s available.
Stu Mark // Jun 5, 2007 at 8:07 am
I agree with Whit, but there are other signs. For example, behavior is a key. Do they laugh with you or at you? When you talk about something that has nothing to do with them, do they try to pay attention? If you offer to teach them something not related to school or chores, do they seem interested?
At least, that’s one concept.
Thordora // Jun 5, 2007 at 12:52 pm
My kids look up to me, and want to be around me.
But hey, it’s still early.
Whitney // Jun 5, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I think the giggle test works, the snuggles, the wanting to spend time together - you kinda know, I think. Like I know my husband and I have different relationships with the kids because James will say “you’re always there for me and Daddy is always busy.” And I have to admit, that’s about right from where I sit. But I do take it a step further and ask James to talk to his Dad about it, which they do, but the darling husband is simply busy, a lot, and not much he can do about that…
Thimbelle // Jun 5, 2007 at 10:49 pm
When your teenager *wants* to go places with you - and risks being seen in public with you…
…I think that’s a good sign.
Otherwise, I think we maybe have to wait. (Hard for a society that is steeped in instant gratification) I think we have to wait to see what kind of adults they become, and even what kind of parents.
Maybe I’m just thinking of this more because my own Mom is living with us these days, and I see her smile as we go through the same things with Twinks that she went through with me…
Don // Jun 6, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Few thoughts come to mind:
When your teenage boy tells you he loves you on a regular basis, without being prompted or responding to your own show of affection.
When you find the public profile on their new myspace/ning/facebook, etc., and it says something positive about mom or dad. Of course, this only counts if you are pretty sure they don’t know you have the address to check their site. Also, I wouldn’t take a lack of positive comment as an indictment at all, and have seen some great kids complain about mom or dad on occasion, though not regularly.
Third - Look them in the eye, and talk with them. I can’t imagine a kid that is good enough to fake true respect with any halfway aware parent. Even a half-decent kid can lie, eye to eye, about a specific event, but over time and topics, their facial movements, body language, and tone of voice should all be consistent with their true feelings.
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