For Boobaby’s first two years, it wasn’t hard to decide what sort of play was “right” for her: I let her do whatever she wants. At the playground, if she wants to swing for an hour or if she won’t do the slide one day, it’s no big deal. Heck, sometimes it’s all sandbox and nothing but the sandbox.
Even in classes — I take her to Music Together — I leave the decisions up to her. If she wants to participate, that’s great, but she can also gaze out the window or balance the maracas on her head. Either way, she’s getting exposed to music, so as long as she’s having fun, I go with it.
Things are changing. We’ve started taking Boo to an acrobatics class, which although age-appropriate for toddlers, really emphasizes skill development. Our daughter would be perfectly happy bouncing on the trampoline endlessly, but now she’s expected to do somersaults and bear walk and splits.
Obviously, it’s good for her to learn that hard work will be rewarded. If she does a somersault on demand, she can earn applause and, eventually, a sticker. But Boobaby’s done somersaults for almost a year since we learned about them (accidentally!) at the playground. Maybe her organic somersaults weren’t quite straight or fully-tucked, but they filled her face with a joy that I just don’t see when she’s responding to by her coach’s insistent command to “Front Roll! Front Roll! Front Roll!”
Then again, Boo loves new thrills, and besides, she may be reaching a plateau in what she can discover for herself without help. Just today, the coach helped Boo manage a “belly hang” on the trapeze — while holding on with her hands, she pulled her toes up so she dangled, bottom down, from the swinging bar. After landing clumsily on the thick gymnastics pads she beamed up at us, basking in the praise and applause of parents and coach and, even more (I hope), pleased with herself. From having become a little boring — toes-down dangling only lasts so long, I guess — the trapeze station was imbued with new potential. Boo had reached a new milestone.
Like so many other areas of parenting, we’ll learn to walk a middle line between allowing Boo to learn in her own way and raising our expectations of her. We’re surrounded by people who parent at both extremes. One mom we know constantly needles her daughter to greater heights of performance, and I frequently see a playground dad who just watches his son walk around aimlessly, waiting for him to do something.
I want to help Boo discover new things, but I don’t want to micro-manage her development. So although I may start to encourage her to explore areas outside the sandbox, I’ll try to do so gently.
by Doodaddy
[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, athletics, gymnastics, courage, expectations, strategy, development[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by JBird, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
2 responses so far ↓
nan // Mar 22, 2008 at 11:02 am
Oh, DO be gentle! Remember that dogs, monkeys and even parrots can be taught to do gymnastic tricks, and even to “read”. But zest and love for what they do cannot be taught. Any kid can be taught to do anything at a very young age. It’s when they do it with joy that you know you’ve taught it right.
The Other Dawn // Mar 25, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Noise really loves his “by-myself-tumbling class” and the SOLE reason he got enrolled in it was because he was so clumsy and bruised our day care was about ready to call DFS. Tumbling has given him physical confidence he really needed, even though he’s ten times the daredevil now and one of only two boys in the class. (Don’t get me started on that. )
It’s great that Boobaby is enjoying herself AND learning.
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