My husband is traveling pretty frequently for work these days. On a day to day basis he plays an integral role in how our home operates and we miss him terribly while he’s away. He often takes the lead at bedtime and picks up where my patience leaves off. He really is instrumental in the maintenance of my sanity. So, when he goes away I slowly begin to lose my mind.
Here are my top 4 things that I think he should do for me before he zips his suitcase:
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1. Do all of the weekly shopping. This includes planning the dinner and breakfast and lunch menus for every day that he will be gone, as well as the day he returns. He gets bonus points for any meals that he prepares for the coming week prior to his departure. He gets double bonus points for letting me have the afternoon off while he accomplishes these tasks :).
2. Arrange for a babysitter and a play date for the Mama for an evening towards the end of his trip. This should include dinner and a movie or some such activity that will keep me away from the house for the bedtime festivities. And wine. It should definitely include wine.
3. Plan on hiding and or emailing me occasional love notes that include proclamations of his unending thanks, his immeasurable love, and perhaps even a whispered promise of things to come. By that, of course, I mean a big fat brownie.
4. Tackle every spec of laundry in the house. This includes the actual washing as well and the hanging and folding and putting away of every last sock.
Ok, in truth these maybe shouldn’t all fall on his shoulders. However; as a team, these 4 things should be done or arranged for prior to departure. It will mean that the bumps will be smaller and the daily operations smoother. It means that when the trip’s over we’ll be waiting for him with smiles on our faces and laughter in the air.
What makes it easier for YOU?
[tags]parents, moms, dads, kids, children, teamwork, business trips, preparation, caring, love, taking it easy, reducing stress, parenting, traveling spouse[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by LexnGer, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
8 responses so far ↓
Elizabeth // Sep 26, 2007 at 5:54 pm
I’m cracking up, I just got through writing what I try to do at home before I leave town for work, and, my list is very similar!
Megin Hatch // Sep 27, 2007 at 4:11 am
Elizabeth…
Do you mean IRL or on your blog? Either way, link us up to your list!
I am glad you found it funny. Rob came home late last night. Can you imagine that he has the gall to sleep in this morning? Psssh.
Stu Mark // Sep 27, 2007 at 8:52 am
I am a Stay-At-Home-Dad, or, in a nod to feminism, I’m a house-wife.
As such, it’s my wife who goes on business trips, sometimes to San Francisco, sometimes to Brazil, sometimes to Hong Kong - for weeks at a time.
When she does, I follow a pretty standard procedure: Before the trip, I ask her for a list of what she needs for the trip, and another list of what she’d like to see our remaining family accomplish while she’s gone. After she’s packed, but before she leaves, I sneak love notes, poems, gifts deep into her suitcase. Then, I get her itinerary and have flowers sent to her hotel room.
But that’s just me.
Chris // Sep 27, 2007 at 9:07 am
I love that list, Megin! Especially having him make childcare arrangements ahead of time. For a long time, I always made our childcare arrangements–usually incurring some sort of obligation to watch one of my friend’s kids in exchange. Lately, I’ve been asking him to make those plans and I really appreciate it. Didn’t occur to me to ask him to do this when he’s away, but I will next time he’s getting ready to go on a trip.
I also appreciate Stu’s point about sending love to the person who’s leaving. My husband’s last trip seemed to have been harder on him than on me. He really missed us, and while we missed him, at least the kids and I had each other.
Megin Hatch // Sep 27, 2007 at 10:31 am
Stu- You are far far too kind
What does she do for you?
Chris- thanks! Yes, I think having a night off to look forward to makes things easier to manage.
I definitely get that it can be really hard for the traveler. Rob hates to be away without us. I think it’s because the Punks are so small right now and still so dependent that I am called to express my sense of entitlement. 24/7 has a whole new meaning when you are down a pilot and have several small people needing many needs met at once for many days in a row. More so when these trips occur with great frequency.
My list is a tad bit tongue in cheek. I absolutely think having all of those things in place before a longish flight of solo parenting would ease the pressure on that parent… but I don’t place the responsibility on Rob. Even when I want to.
And really, I always want to.
Stu Mark // Sep 28, 2007 at 6:31 am
Meg,
Well, first, she brings money into the house. So, she puts a roof over my kids’ heads and food in their bellies and provides us the opportunity to live in a great school district.
Second, she loves me. I mean, really loves me. And I’m just me, just some guy, nothin’ special, so this is also pretty amazing.
Is there a need for a third?
Meg // Sep 28, 2007 at 7:40 am
Yeah, yeah, yeah- money, love- we’re lucky enough to take those things for granted, no? Lucky us.
Me? I am not as generous as you. I want more.
:))
Stu Mark // Sep 28, 2007 at 4:38 pm
I hear you, I do. And, imho, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more. When Leslie went on that two-week tour of South America, for work, I was pretty bitchy about it. I tried to be cool, but in the end, I was feeling a bit put-upon, and I was upset, although not at Leslie, but at her company.
So I feel you, sincerely. And asking for some support before leaving you high and dry is understandable and a real thing. ‘Cause, and again, this is just my opinion, the traveler has an easier time. Clean sheets, decent food, and the lack of parental/marital stress. Yeah, he’ll miss the kids, and you, sure… But again, clean sheets and no “Dad, she’s touching me again!!” or whatever. So I think the traveler has it easier.
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