Grasshopper New Media Presents...

This week’s advice is only for people with problems. So if you lead a problem-free existence, you may want to skip this one and I’ll try to make next week’s column funny.

This week is serious, and it’s all due to my brother.

Here’s how the serious started: I was having a problem with Photoshop, and I called him to get his advice. He walked me through a few things, asked a few questions, but after a bit, he realized that it was a real problem. So he said, “There was this guy named Polya and he said, ‘If you can’t solve a problem, find an easier one and solve that one. Then look at how you solved it and maybe that will help you solve the more difficult one.’”

Well, sure enough, that worked, and my problem was solved.

And I now really needed to learn about this Polya guy. So I read up on him a bit, and discovered a simple math problem-solving technique of his own design, except it occurred to me that it would absolutely work in marriages and parent-ages. I immediately introduced it to my wife, and we immediately put it into practice, as an experiment. And it totally works. It’s flawless. So really, the following advice comes from a dead Hungarian mathematician:

Polya’s Four Principles -

1. Understand The Problem - Sounds simple, but this is a very common mistake that problem-solvers make. They attempt to solve a problem that hasn’t been clearly identified. So before you get rolling on the solving part, make sure you get it, that your spouse or kid get it. If you’re not absolutely sure you know what the problem is, check yourself. Can you draw a picture of it? Can you restate it in your own words? If not, don’t proceed to step two until you and your partner are in agreement on the actual problem.
2. Devise A Plan - Don’t just jump in to solving a relationship problem. Take some time to agree with your partner on how you will solve the problem. This step can include strategies such as: Draw a picture, make a list, consider special cases, use a model, etc. I’m sure you’ll find your own strategy that works best.
3. Carry Out The Plan - You don’t have to stick with the plan all the way through, especially if it turns out it’s a bad plan. But in the beginning, do your best to solve the problem according to the plan. If, however, after many attempts at utilizing the plan continually lead to failure, don’t be afraid to toss it and create a new plan.
4. Review and/or Extend - If you haven’t solved the problem, review what you’ve done so far. Sometimes this simple review will reveal a hole somewhere, or give one of you an idea on a different way to solve the problem. Polya said, “If you can’t solve a problem, then there is an easier problem you can solve: find it.” Reviewing your progress can help find that easier problem to solve.

That’s it. It worked for me, it’ll probably work for you. If not, email me (stumark@verizon.net) and I’ll see what I can do.

Lastly, another Polya quote: “Wishful thinking is imagining good things you don’t have.” This is one of my favorite problem-solving concepts - imagining that the problem is already solved. Then we work backward from their to see how we arrived at the fantasy solution. This exercise really helps open up our eyes. And open eyes help keep any relationship on track.

[tags]kids, children, parents, husband, wife, relationships, problem solving, George Polya, math, marriage, parenting[/tags]
Photo of George Polya, published under fair use, as he’s both dead and famous