Grasshopper New Media Presents...

For the past few weeks, I’ve been working non-stop on a conference I’ve been organizing, Podcamp Philly. The conference finally occurred this weekend, and really went off without a hitch. Reviews are great, and I even got nicknamed “Philly Social Media’s super cool mom” by Alex Hillman, a really amazing tech genius. This made me feel like a real grown-up, having managed this whole thing from an idea into a great success by just about any metric.

On the home front however, things are not as picture perfect. There seems to be little in the fridge. Laundry is piled up, forms from the first week of school still await my attention. We haven’t yet hit that school groove, and I feel overwhelmed by all that is needed from me here as well.

I am paying the price for phoning in my parenting over the last few weeks. Shopping for only the “have to” haves. Doing the necessary, but not the maintenance stuff, like editing kids’ closets and getting the car inspected. The kids are a little more clingy and want a little more TLC (and who can blame them?) I am happy to deliver. I want to get back on track. But it’s like returning to the office after vacation- there’s an inbox a mile high, and it seems pretty overwhelming.

I’ve known this for a long time, but this experience serves as a reminder. Super Mom is a myth. You might be able to have it all, but not all at the same time. Happy home means energy might be missing from work or volunteer things or even your personal life; Happy business life means time is taken away from home and the nice extras you like to do there.

I’ve come to believe in short cuts that work. For example, instead of making scratch cookies this week for kids after school, I did the scoop & bake tollhouse. Not quite the same as my own, but kids still got hot cookies after school for the first week, so I still had the “comfort” thing, but with less work. I’ve done the easy dinners of grilling and doing cold sandwiches. I’ve let my usual standards slide for good enough, and realized that that’s sometimes not only okay, but it’s what needs to happen in order for us all to stay sane.

I’ve realized I do have an important place in the house. Things don’t run the same when I’m not here- there is a lot more stealth drinking out of the milk jug and burping that goes unchecked. I stole the phrase for this behavior from Calvin Trillin- C.A.M.P.- Cat’s away, mice play.

I’m glad the mice have had time to play. And sometimes I get really sick of being the Cat who tries to maintain standards, make sure no one gets hurt, and maintain the “rules” and boundaries. Sometimes I want to say “Screw it!” and go take everyone out for Ice Cream for dinner rather than worry about balanced food groups. But in the end, the Cat has a role, and the mice have a role, and we all play off of each other, comfortable in our scripts, and a little more unsure of ourselves when we’re doing all improv.

Do I need to apologize for phoning it in? I have thanked my family for putting up with my pre-occupation, for letting me do the things I love, for supporting me in those decisions. And they have been excellent. They understand, and are fantastic. I just have to learn to forgive myself for feeling like I’ve come up short, do my best to get back in the game, and face the pile of PTO papers and laundry that make almost anyone feel like crying.

Anyone got a pen?
Or extra fabric softener?

I guess it’s another trip to the store…..

While you’re heading to the store, don’t forget to pick up the latest issue of GNMParents. What? It’s not at the newsstand? Oh, yeah, that’s right, GNMParents is a website! How about subscribing instead?!? To subscribe to the email version of GNMP, just click the orange button that says RSS, or type your email address in the box to the right. If you need assistance, or a soothing reminder of our strict anti-spam policy, feel free to email Stu Mark, who is happy to oblige.

[tags]kids, children, parenting, parents, away from home, laundry, fridge, groceries, effort, earnest, phoning it in[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by M J M, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved