My twin daughters are almost four years old - and I wonder where the time goes! I’ve recently decided to establish a routine of one-on-one time with each of them. I’m not really sure how to go about this. My time is going to have to be split into threes, because I cannot forget about my husband either, and there is only so much time in a day.
My mind is blank as I try to think of things to do on our individual outings. I want the activities to be interactive, since the goal is to develop a stronger connection with them outside of their twin status. Right now it is too hot in Arizona to do much outside and initially I want the outings to be fairly short in duration - maybe 90 minutes each. I cannot do ice cream as an activity because I’ll just balloon up and outgrow the clothes that still don’t fit quite right since my pregnancy. We could ride the inside carousel or walk the mall or insert idea here.
One option might be to tag team with my husband. Meaning we would go to the zoo and he would spend 90 minutes with one daughter while I’m with the other then we switch. This would work well for the indoor activity centers too. The challenge with this idea is convincing our twins it will be fun not spending time all together.
So then here is another consideration, do I schedule the individual play dates on the same day or different days? If they are on the same day, that makes for a busy day and one where my husband and I won’t spend much time together on our already short weekends. If they are on different days, how will the daughter who didn’t get to spend “alone” time with mom feel?
Even though I’m excited about creating a relationship with them on an individual level, I know that 1) I’ll miss spending time with the other daughter, and 2) I suspect that initially this will be a difficult transition for them too.
I’m guessing parents with children of different ages have some of these same concerns too. So, I encourage you to offer any tips or advice on how to create this individual time with my twins?
by Kelly Damron
Photo graciously provided by WhatDaveSees, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
3 responses so far ↓
Carl // Aug 1, 2008 at 4:52 pm
I do 1×1 time with my kids, and it’s normal stuff that we do. They care more about the undivided attention than about the entertainment/distraction. So, I pull weeds with my daughter, haul firewood with my son, etc. All through it, we talk - it’s the talk and the time that matters!
AmyL // Aug 1, 2008 at 7:49 pm
When we just had the older boys, Hubby took one and I the other out on a “date night”. Being twins, we had the same concerns and were trying to handle it. One big mistake: using the event to shop for toys. From then on, the boys associated date night with buying toys. Totally messed up what we were trying to accomplish.
Then the little guys came along and there was just no way we could pull anything like that off. And there was still the toy thing.
We’ve instead just tried to be close to them as much as possible and steal moments with whichever boy is available at the time. I’ve learned that as Carl said, it’s the time spent on everyday things that seems to mean more to them anyhow. We do big special things as a family and everyone seems happy.
Kelly D // Aug 1, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Carl and Amy,
Thanks for the feedback. I feel better knowing that normal daily activities are just as fun for the kids as a planned activity. I’ll keep the toy idea in the back of my mind - good tip not to start that trend.
I love family time so much, but I think they need to be away from each other at times too.
Leave a Comment