This past week was a triumph for me as a parent, a frightening, nerve-wracking, nail-biting triumph. You see, this was the week that I did one of the most unpleasant tasks of any parent: I convinced my 11 year-old daughter to take the dog for a walk, by herself.
And, to be clear, we live in Los Angeles, not exactly a city filled with the best and the brightest, if you catch my drift. And yet I had no choice. She needs to know that I trust her, that I respect her decision-making skills, as well as her navigation skills, as well as her animal-management skills. Thankfully, she performed flawlessly, with a smile on her face as she came in through the door after a healthy quarter-mile trek around the neighborhood.
Which brings me to this week’s advice from the parent without a college diploma or a viable resume: Force your kids to stand up on their own two feet as early as possible. Whether you believe it or not, tell them you believe in them. Convince them that you have faith in their abilities and let them perform tasks without your assistance, regardless of any whining, crying, or cussing that comes from your little angel. While it might be scary, while it might be stressful, it’s one of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon your child: The gift of trust.
Your story will be different. You may not have a dog, you may live in the safest neighborhood in the world, your kid might appear too young for certain risks. I beg to differ. Your child is never too young for you to give them the confidence they need to fly solo, even if it’s just using the potty or making their own chocolate milk. The concept here is that they completely believe that you believe in them completely. Yes, it’s scary, they might spill the milk. But if the cost is spilled milk, the reward is a lifetime of watching a confident child walk out into the world, fully prepared to take on all comers. And isn’t that why you had them in the first place?
[tags]kids, parents, risk, reward, confidence, trust, support, love[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Infinity Rain (Vanished), through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
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3 responses so far ↓
jafabrit // Aug 13, 2007 at 5:26 am
It is hard but so well worth it. Great advice
Rob // Aug 13, 2007 at 11:02 am
Once again Stu, you take us to that place of parenting where fear and knowing what we should do collide. You seem to confront these moments with thoughtfulness and err on the side of your children with consistency.
It also reminded me of a previous GNMP post http://www.gnmparents.com/sometimes-i-just-forget-that-youre-7/.
With all else that goes on in our lives and the myriad of excuses that are given to us not to, kudos to you for recognizing the strength in your child and supporting her to grow in small but meaningful ways.
Doodaddy // Aug 18, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Well done! Seriously, though — did you secret a GPS device into the dog’s leash?
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