Grasshopper New Media Presents...

I love one-liners, quotes, and and the clever lines on t-shirts, even though I rarely wear shirts with snarky sayings. I thought I’d share a few of my favorite lines I’ve collected as of late- I can’t wait to use some of them under the appropriate circumstances.

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn’t be called research. -Albert Einstein

When all else fails, manipulate the data

I don’t suffer from insanity- I enjoy every minute of it. Most of the people who drive me nuts are in my family.

You probably don’t recognize me without my cape.

Instant human. Just add coffee.

Sarcasm- just one of the many services I offer.

You see three branches of government. I see firewood.

I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying!

Put on your big girl panties and just deal with it!

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

I am living so far beyond my income we are practically living apart. -ee cummings

I live in my own little world, but it’s okay because they know me here.

Due to the confidential nature of my job, I am not allowed to know what I am doing.

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several of them gang up on me at once.

They say i have ADD, but they don’t understand. Oh Look! A chicken!

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

Life would be much easier if I had the Source Code.

Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. teach him to use the ‘net and he won’t bother you for weeks.

Okay, back to the more serious work of parenting and trying not to laugh too hard when my child gets in trouble at school for spelling swear words on the bus to other children.

[tags]one-liners, jokes, laughs, giggles, fun, comedy[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Tennessee Wanderer, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved