The kids are busy, I get that. They have school, homework, soccer, etc. But I still want them to contribute to the house and its upkeep. Yet getting them to do chores is like asking them to swallow hot coals. Still, I needed to solve this problem. Parenting advisers say, “Pick Your Battles.” Well, this was one worth winning, not just for the idea of getting some assistance, but larger, implanting in them the idea that work is not just for other people.
But how to get this accomplished? My wife and I had so many discussions about it, so many brain-storms, but zilch-o-rama! That is, until we came up with The Idea That Worked:
We took a bold and scary step: We stopped giving them allowance. Instead, we built a system where we all have chores, and upon each chore completed, there are points awarded. When enough points are earned, money is received.
Here’s the more complex version of the system: Each occupant of the house gets a set of Regular Chores, Challenge Chores, and Extra Credit. Each chore completed gets a point and a grade (Unsatisfactory, Satisfactory, Outstanding). Based on a formula of type of chore and level of effort and number of total chores, they earn a grade for the week, and at the end of the week, based on their grade, they get cash and prizes (new clothes or makeup or whatever).
Amazingly enough, the kids dig the program. They do way more chores than they used to, partly because my wife and I also have chores and participate in the program, and partly because they earn more money than they did under the old allowance days, and also they earn clothes and such, so they feel a deeper sense of pride/ownership/whatever about these items than they did when it was just their parents being generous.
I felt a little weird about it at first, paying them to do chores, but then I realized that if it made everyone happy, maybe I didn’t need to look for a down side.
by Stu Mark
Photo graciously provided by velo_city, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
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4 responses so far ↓
dad/hop // Mar 26, 2009 at 5:56 pm
What a great idea. What about lunch money etc.
Kelly Damron // Mar 27, 2009 at 9:14 am
I like the idea of paying children for chores. They learn that they receive a reward for their action. I love the grade concept too – it reinforces that you must do a GOOD job to earn full points. I was never given an allowance, just money when I asked for it. Since I was always cleaning the house anyway I guess this worked for my parents. However, I’ll probably do something similar as to what you are doing when my girls are old enough.
Thimbelle // Mar 29, 2009 at 12:58 pm
We do something similar, but add in the concept of enforced savings, to get Twinks used to the idea of banking into her savings account first. Any time she gets ANY money, an automatic 15% goes into her savings. That way, she is used to “paying herself first”, and will hopefully become a better “saver” than her Dad and I are…
AmyL // Apr 2, 2009 at 10:18 am
We’re about there as well. Allowances didn’t work, so we dumped the whole idea and made a list of optional chores that they can do for cash. There are a few (very few) mandatory jobs. We’re hoping to open bank accounts and do the enforced savings thing soon. So far it’s working the best for us. The allowance thing turned into them having too much cash and they were getting pretty cavalier about the work value of money. Occasionally I feel guilty about not giving an allowance, then I get over it.
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