Grasshopper New Media Presents...

Last week, I wrote an essay about the choice of becoming a stay-at-home parent. This week, I’d like to take some of your time to tell the tale of the moment of my choice.

A long time ago, in my own personal galaxy, I fell in love. She was captivatingly, breathtakingly beautiful, soulful, artistic, and deeply intelligent. And, if this wasn’t enough, she had two kids from a previous marriage, and let me tell you, these kids were the greatest kids on this planet. Seriously, I had them tested for greatness, and they were off the chart.

So getting into a relationship with her, and her kids, was a no-brainer.

But I had a job. I was a full-time writer (yep, got paid and everything). And that, for me, was absolutely a dream come true. It was everything I ever wanted at that time, and I poured my heart into it.

Ah, but the heart, she grows, she learns, she takes you places you never expect. In my case, she took me to the kitchen of the house I was sharing with this beautiful woman and her two brilliant children. You see, she and her ex-husband worked pretty long hours, which left the kids in daycare. Well, the term care was a bit of a stretch. More like dayignore.

So it’s my wife-to-be, her ex-husband, and me, standing in the kitchen, discussing the kids. When daycare was mentioned, I brought up how unhappy they were, how they were being raised, sorry, ignored by strangers. We talked about it for a bit, searching for alternatives. After a lot of non-answers, something popped into my head, as though it was the voice of some future, far more mature me. Almost without thinking, the words popped out of my mouth, “Um, why don’t I just quit my job and take care of the kids full-time?”

The ex-husband tilted his head sideways, like a dog who was asked to solve an algebra equation. I turned my eyes towards my soon-to-be-bride, and she smiled slightly. We then spent a few minutes kicking the idea around, discussing the pros and cons. In the end, despite ex-husband’s reservations, we decided that it was worth a try.

Now, don’t get me wrong, i didn’t want to give up my job. I love, love, love to write. But these kids, boy howdy, they just reached me in some unexplainable way. So I really didn’t feel I had a choice, even though I was the one making the choice. Odd. Interesting. And as thrilling as the beginning of any roller coaster ever built.

Years later, as I watch my son and daughter as young adults, I look back on my time with them and can imagine no other way I would have wanted to spend my days. Through the tantrums and the recitals and the soccer matches and sleepovers, I would only change one thing, and that would be to relive every moment.

by Stu Mark

[tags]parents, parenting, SAHM, SAHD, stay-at-home, mom, dad, choice, wonderful, fantastic, joy, love[/tags]

Photo graciously provided by ucumari, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved