Grasshopper New Media Presents...

After I became a mom, I found myself caught up in the throes of mommyhood. Changing diapers took the place of going to late-night movies. Instead of meeting friends for coffee, I was walking around my house with a cranky baby. One by one, my old friends disappeared and new ones took their places. New ones who were mommies like me. We took our kids to the playground and discussed the merits of breastfeeding versus bottlefeeding. Our lives were centered around our children and our spouses; we hardly had any time to breathe, much less take care of ourselves.

But as the saying goes, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.”

I became more irritable around my kids and more distant towards my husband. My piano and drums sat unused, my easel was empty. I asked myself, “Is this all to my life? Kids and housecleaning and talking about the merits of Nickelodeon versus Disney Channel?” Who had I been in the era BK (Before Kids?)? I couldn’t remember. Maybe she took one look at my first screaming, bawling baby and fled in panic, never to be found ever again. That part of me was lost and I missed her, and without her, I was definitely getting cranky.

Then one of my on-line friends invited me to a “palooza”, a gathering of some women friends at her house in New Jersey. I jumped at the opportunity, despite my husband’s initial reluctance. “I need to get away,” I told him. Nothing was going to prevent me from going. Five other women were gathering for the weekend, just to enjoy each other’s company and (possibly) do things we wouldn’t normally do.

And we did. We played with huge hula hoops and did some beading (I made some necklaces), we danced and sang and exchanged presents. We gave each other makeovers and pedicures and I even dyed my hair to get rid of the gray in it. We swapped stories and laughed and talked about our lives back home. Yes, we had children and families, and yes, those families were important, but for one weekend, they we were more than mothers. We were human beings too, who needed some time away from the burdens and responsibilities of mommyhood.

And paradoxically, that weekend of fun helped me become a better mother. When I returned to Charlotte on Sunday, I was more relaxed and able to face my husband and kids again. When mama is happy, then everyone is happy.

[tags]kids, parents, mommy, break, rest, vacation, time away, stress management[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by johanna, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved