In just 3 days I am heading off to spend about 30 hours with some girl friends. The plan is for 3 of us to leave bright and early, and enjoy a kid-free breakfast that we don’t have to cook ourselves. We will then arrive at the Kittery Shopping Outlets as they are opening, without any kids. After scouring the racks of J. Jill, Banana Republic, Old Navy, and Crate and Barrel in search of a bargain too good to pass up, we will enjoy lunch, with wine, but without kids. Next we will browse the bins at Oshkosh, Carters, Hanna Andersson, Old Navy, and The Children’s Place, you guessed it, sans kiddos. Then we head to happy hour at the hotel, which is really a 2 bedroom, 2 bath, full kitchen with living room condominium. Did I mention that there will be no children accompanying us? 2 more friends will join us for dinner and our evening adventure… whatever form it takes.
Can you tell I am looking forward to it? You see, women are important to me. Spending time with other women, other Moms, is a key component to my overall wellbeing. It’s a little bit about just getting out and shedding my Mama-ness. It’s a little bit about drinking good wine and eating baked brie. It’s a little bit about knowing that Papa’s getting a little bit of solo-parenting time. It’s a whole lot about connecting with other Moms who will get what I am saying.
It’s not only the friends I’ll be hanging with this weekend. The women I am lucky enough to call friends will listen to me bitch and moan about my Punks recent escapades, and know that even though I say I’d sell them at the flea market for a shiny quarter, I am actually head over heals in love with each of them. They will laugh until they pee when I relay the story about my baby handing me poop. They will drag me out for a walk when they know I am having a crappy day and I’ve got a huge case of the blues. They’ll let me drag them out for a walk when I know they need it, instead of burrowing in bed with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. We can be ourselves and still like each other. More than that, these women, purely by their existence in the world, help me to be a better Mom every day.
It’s hard, sometimes, to make time in between diapers and homework and grocery shopping to spend time with friends. As you can see, it’s a priority for me, and I try my best to carve time out for my girlfriends. For me this takes the form of: a weekly night out, an evening walk, an early morning summer run, a far too rare occasional day with 2 women who live many miles and many states away, yet another “home” party where I rarely buy a thing, or sometimes a potluck dinner.
This opportunity to connect with my Mom-friends helps me rejuvenate and sink deeper into the role of Mama. It’s not always about ditching the husbands and Punks, but sometimes it just is. This weekend, it just is.
So, how often do you get together with your friends without the kids? How do you spend that time? Do you cherish it like I do? Why?
[tags] girl friends, moms, friends, girls get away, girls night out, friendship, sanity, parenting[/tags]
Photo courtesy of edwarddaggie98 via Flickr and is used under a Creative Commons license.
8 responses so far ↓
thordora // Mar 28, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I really wish had friends like that. I have one good friend who lives hours away, but who has no kids. As much as time does bridge that gap, sometimes it’s all too clear that she doesn’t have kids. My last visit and her judgement of my coat, or lack thereof, stands out in my mind.
I cherish my alone time-browsing for books, reading over coffee, just trying on shoes by myself-I LOVE that.
Amy Bailey // Mar 28, 2007 at 4:06 pm
My 7pm walk with my friend, three times a week, is one of the best things I have going ! We walk HARD and fast, and talk the entire time. Thank goodness for mom time sans kids.
Annie // Mar 28, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Every month, a group of us from the Special Needs Moms’ Group get together at a coffee shop…believe me, it’s a lifesaver, because we can chat about things without kids and hubbies hanging around, and we can get some sanity time.
Busy Mom // Mar 28, 2007 at 8:02 pm
I’m lucky enough to get to go on a annual girls trip to the beach each year with my friends.
This was our 8th year.
karrie // Mar 29, 2007 at 3:22 am
I have yet to take an extended day trip, but have made the trek to Kittery and Freeport–I’m in Boston–as a day trip a few times with friends.
I would say I get out with friends maybe twice a month–sometimes for an entire Saturday, other times just a nice dinner out, sans kids.
Have fun!
Megin Hatch // Mar 29, 2007 at 6:46 am
Thordora: This is the first time since my kids have been born that I can honestly say I have local friends. I cherish them and frankly know that life would NOT be the same without them. Have you tried connecting with other Moms? I have some ideas.
Amy: I have a summer walking group. Well, actually there are 3 of us. We try and walk several times a week. It’s funny the more we chat the faster and longer we walk! I love it. They call me the walker-stalker.
Annie: Isn’t it cool to connect with like minded folks? It’s great that you make the time for this!
Busy Mom: That’s great. I fantasize about a girls trip to the beach for a long weekend in Feb. One of these years it will happen!
Karrie: You’re an outlet fan, too, eh? Have you done the Wrenthem outlets? I lived in Boston for eons- there are so many great places to escape to.
I plan on bringing my camera and iRiver, we will see if anything good comes out of it to share with you all.
Chris // Mar 29, 2007 at 7:58 am
Until my daughter was two, I didn’t know any other local moms. Then I started a playgroup (advertised it on craigslist), became involved in the local homeschooling community, and now, two years later, I can’t imagine life without my mom-friends. I fear I would be divorced or horribly depressed by now if I didn’t have these women in my life who “get it” without me having to explain.
We still get together for playgroup, but some of us also do a “tribe day,” where we get together at one family’s house and hang out, helping with the kids and housekeeping/other projects. I get together with a group of moms to knit on Monday nights and on Wednesday nights, a three of us get together to write. I believe it is vital for moms to make time to craft, write, do whatever makes you YOU. Doing such things in a supportive environment of friends makes it all the more enjoyable. One thing we did recently that was absolutely fabulous (and we will do again as soon as we can) was going for foot massages at a local foot massage spa. (Anyone else know of anyplace like http://www.barefootsage.com or is this just in Portland?) It was so marvelous and relaxing.
I cannot wait ’til my son is a little older (and nursing less), so I can get away for a night or even just a whole day. I am looking forward to going on writing or knitting retreat one of the days.
Cherylann // Mar 30, 2007 at 8:42 am
I moved to a new state last year and have not met any new friends. Bring a stay at home mom in a new place is hard… especially when you don’t know anyone. We do go to storytime at the library every week, but I haven’t really met anyone… I would love to hear some ideas Megin!
Leave a Comment