In ten days time my husband and I will head to the sunny, sandy beaches of Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
We’ve been married over ten years and this will be our first vacation, beyond a weekend here and there, without our children. I cannot wait to spend my days with him, walking, talking and eating until we’re tired. But, as excited as I am, I find myself a bit worried. Wondering if I’ll be able to relax.
We’re a busy family and as much as I complain about how rare my relaxed moments are, I think what I’m most afraid of is that I will be bored. With nothing concrete to do, what will I do? I don’t easily laze around and read books or listen to music. Part of having ADD means that I always have to be busy and stimulated. Yet, here I am faced with the idea that for seven days, it will be just John, myself and whatever the day brings. That freaks me out.
I also worry about the kids. Will I be able to relinquish control of their daily lives, even if only for a week? Will I miss them so terribly that I won’t have a good time? Will us not being there leave them scarred?
Yes, I’m being dramatic and even a little bit whiney. I have actually laughed at other women for saying exactly what I’m saying. The children are being left in the extremely capable (and insanely fun!) hands of their grandparents. Soccer practices, dance classes and birthday parties are taken care of thanks to amazing friends. I’ve organized it so well that there is literally nothing for me to do but sit back relax. I mean, who wouldn’t want a week away with just her husband and endless cocktails with little umbrellas?
Indulge me, okay?
I would love to hear some experience from parents who have taken extended vacations from their kids. What has helped you get through and just unwind? Any ideas to make it easier on the children?
It’s a tall order to talk me down, but I know the wonderful readers of this site can do it!
[tags]parenting, kids, control, vacation, away, alone with spouse, trips, babysitting, vacation without kids, umbrella drinks, DR, Dominican Republic[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by shashchatter, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
7 responses so far ↓
Megin Hatch // May 18, 2007 at 6:47 am
Chantal-
Holy amazingly Jealous!
I can’t really offer any advice as I’ve only ever left my kids for a weekend, however… I will say that not only will your children *not* be scarred, they are lucky to have time with their grandparents. If the schedule is off a bit and the routine is out of whack, so what? They will have an amazing opportunity to deepen their relationship and their memories with their grandparents. And your parents… well, I expect it will be a special time for them as well. (they may need a vacation afterwords, but that’s the beauty of grandparenting… you get to give them back. Ooohhh, I wonder if they’ll be willing to reflect on a week with the grandkids for GNMP???)
As for being bored? Come ON! The days will fly by and you’ll wonder why you ever worried.
Will you miss them? Yeah, but it’ll be wonderful for all parties! Are your parents available in June? I’ve got a hankering to get away!
I can’t wait to hear all about it…
Tere // May 18, 2007 at 8:11 am
I haven’t taken a vacation away from my son yet (but he’s a baby, so I have an excuse!), but I think you’ll take about a day or so before you really unwind and get into it. Then it’ll be over and you’ll feel like you need another week of vacation!
jennie // May 18, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I think it helps to talk to the kids at set times - that way they know when you’ll call, and you will all look forward to it. If you have access to email, that’s a nice way for you all to keep in touch as well. When my husband and I were on our last trip, we received an email from my son (sent by my mom) that just said “Hi mom, love martin.” I liked getting it, and he thought it was special to send.
Whitney // May 18, 2007 at 6:40 pm
The first time away is hard. And then you begin to wonder why it took you so long to try. You miss home and the short fry, but being able to be a grownup and have someone refer to you by name rather than as mommy can be transformative.
And remember- staying in touch with your spouse is important to your marriage and your family life. The minibreaks we take once or twice a year are really terrific and I know you’ll have fun.
Angel // May 19, 2007 at 9:42 am
When we took our 5 day cruise a few years ago, I felt exactly the same–in fact, I think there is something wrong if a parent doesn’t have a moment’s pause at leaving her kids (even if in very capable hands).
We were able to call the kids a few times, and sometimes we’d experience something we knew the kids would love, and that made me a little misty-eyed. But truly, it was so wonderful to just be “us” again. And when we got back, the kids seemed to have aged and grown like weeds, I realized how much I missed them, and they missed us.
But it was a great experience for everyone–and I won’t have too much guilt when the kids go to my parent’s for a week in June
Femme // May 21, 2007 at 8:27 pm
We left our little lot when there was only three of them [now four]. Our youngest was all of 18 months and I had terminated his contract with my breasts at 12 months so that we were in lots of time to do practice runs of leaving them with my parents overnight. I was terrified, like you of two things : 1, would the children REALLY survive without me? and 2, this holiday bringing into sharp focus our “couple” relationship, removing all influence of the children and being “us” together.
We also went the Caribbean (an eight hour flight from where we lived at the time in England!). We cruised for two weeks. We LOVED it. We made a point of only calling every few days as the moments after any phone call brought back anxieties that we were infact awful people for leaving our innocent little babies etc. But for the largest part, I reminded myself that the boys were having their own holiday and their own adventure. We slept, worked out, read, played, drank, snorkelled, jet skiied and relaxed. The boys ran my parents ragged visiting every tourist destination within an hours radius of their house. It was wonderful. For Everyone. Enjoy your trip!
Ms. Liza // Jul 15, 2007 at 2:49 pm
I think having a few days away from kids serve many purposes: besides getting better rest, it refreshing spouses’ relationship, making kids mature faster and value more presence of parents. For those couples or single parents who can’t leave their kids with grand parents our Child Care launched special program “Weekend Getawayâ€, where kids can stay from Friday night to Monday morning
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