Today I took a step toward ensuring that Ben will be a suitable catch for a nice girl (I couldn’t bear the thought of him falling for a mean girl, so let’s pretend that it’s not even in the realm of possibility):
I taught him how to use the washing machine. All because of Bernard.
I’ll never forget Bernard, who lived in my freshman dorm. Bernard – who’s named that anymore? And yet his name suited him well. With long blond curls and perpetually untied sneakers, he had the shaggy and disheveled look of a St. Bernard. He always seemed vaguely unwashed – not exactly dirty, mind you, but certainly in need of some scrubbing behind the ears.
Bernard had never done his own laundry, and he spent the first semester of college pretending that his dirty clothes weren’t spilling out of his closet floor and shoved under every piece of furniture available to him. He’d just step over the pile when necessary. But sometime in November, the unthinkable happened – he ran out of clothes. We were all amazed that he’d lasted so long. His parents must have sent him off to college with every pair of underwear and socks that Bloomingdale’s had been willing to sell them – even the irregulars.
So one night – it must have been around 11pm, because didn’t you know? Eleven o’clock is the perfect time to do laundry. Why, the night is yet young! There’s still more beer in the cooler! No one saw Bernard carrying his clothes down to the basement, but believe me, we all heard the racket when twenty minutes later the washing machine groaned, shuddered, and bucked for a long and loud five minutes. An ominous silence followed. The washer had given up the ghost. Soapy water covered every inch of the laundry room’s floor.
As for how Bernard broke the machine, I know a few things, and I can guess the rest. He had tossed his size 11 sneakers and several wool sweaters into the load, along with a semester’s worth of clothing. And I’m only speculating, but I’d wager that he’d surely used more than a cup of soap.
Teaching my kids how to use the washing machine (and dryer) has been on my parenting to-do list from the very beginning. And while it’s true that the more laundry the boys do, the less I’ll have to do, I see that as more of a fringe benefit. For me, the bottom line is this:
Ben will be no Bernard. For that, I’m sure, his future college, and, later on, his spouse, will thank me profusely. I imagine that I’ll just smile and say, “Don’t thank me. Thank Bernard.â€
[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, teaching, housework, washing machine, clothing, detergent, dryer, responsibility, responsibilities[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Ikayama, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
16 responses so far ↓
tulipmom // Mar 13, 2008 at 11:20 am
Good for you! Ben’s partner/girlfriend/wife will definitely thank you someday. When we first moved in together, D. used to do our laundry all the time (at the time that meant shlepping it down three flights of stairs and across the street to the laundromat). Now that I think about it, I’m wondering why that suddenly stopped when we got married and bought a house …. hmmmm …. interesting ….. anyway ….. my point was that you are teaching him a valuable skill. I always used to roll my eyes when my younger brother came home from college with what appeared to be a semester’s worth of dirty laundry.
Laura Storrie // Mar 13, 2008 at 12:15 pm
EXCELLENT life lesson!!!
Slow Panic // Mar 13, 2008 at 12:43 pm
that’s on my list too. there’s so many housekeeping things they need to know!
SJ // Mar 13, 2008 at 12:44 pm
my son (almost three) has been helping me do laundry since he was old enough to put the quarters in the machine (18 months maybe?)
He LOVES to help us. Now he puts the clothes in, helps me measure the detergent, puts it on the clothes, and puts in the quarters and presses the button (we live in condo bldg, with a shared laundry room on our floor). I cannot do laundry without him coming with me, neither can my husband.
I just can’t wait until he’s old enough to do it without parental assistance!
All Adither // Mar 13, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Will Ben wait for Kitty Cat? She’s already 3!
De // Mar 13, 2008 at 12:54 pm
My husband will do the laundry. What he won’t do is brush the toilet; however, my son thinks it is the superlative chore. I hope I figure out the key to keeping it that way!
Stu Mark // Mar 13, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I will *never* forget the day that I taught my son how to do his own laundry. It was painless, he seemed eager to learn, and I have one less laundry client!! Wh00t!1!!
Seriously, it’s a valuable lesson. In fact, maybe this will be the lead to my next advice column, on getting your kids prepped for independence as soon as possible. Hmmm…
Really well-written, Slouch! Thanks for sharing.
Jennifer H // Mar 13, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I’ve demonstrated the washer and dryer to my son, but I think I need to play up the mechanics and engineering aspects of the two appliances. Then, maybe, I’ll have him hooked.
This was great. Good for you, and Ben. And God bless Bernard.
Heather // Mar 13, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Good idea, and sound reasoning. I don’t think my son has the attention span for the lesson yet, but when he’s older…you bet he’s going to learn.
Beck // Mar 13, 2008 at 4:57 pm
My Girl can already do regular laundry and cook - and my goal is to make sure that The Boy goes out into the world fully stocked with life skills, too.
Milena // Mar 13, 2008 at 5:00 pm
He sounded like an absolute dreamboat until the no wash, dirty behind the ears part came through. I’m glad you’ve taught Ben better. As one who has married a man that knows how to handle a washing machine, I am forever grateful to my mother-in-law and will pass on the joy to my future daughter-in-law. May she appreciate it.
Angeline // Mar 14, 2008 at 12:03 am
Great teaching! Its always good to teach them ’survivor’ skills once they are ready ‘mentally’.
One day, your daughter-in-law will thank you, for sure!
cce // Mar 14, 2008 at 4:20 am
Oh how I wish my Mother In Law had thought this one through the way you have. I’ve been doing my own laundry since I was ten, as have my brothers. But My Better Half can’t even pick his laundry up off the floor and get it into the hamper…a lifetime of someone else picking up the slack.
InTheFastLane // Mar 14, 2008 at 6:46 am
I think - especially in light of my last post, that I need to take this lesson to heart.
I can remember college, I was home for the weekend and doing laundry. I was going out for something and asked my brother (two years younger) to put the stuff from the washer into the dryer and another load into the washer while I was out for me. When I returned there were wet clothes in the dryer and dry clothes in the washer. I asked him “Why didn’t you do that load for me?” He said ” well, you told me to put the clothes IN there, you never said that I had to start the machines. Plus, I don’t know how!”
I made a beeline to my mother and told her that she needed to give my brother a few lessons and quick!
Ron Davison // Mar 14, 2008 at 11:36 am
Broken by Bernard: Stories about hearts, windows and a washing machine, a Novel by Sarah …
I like the idea.
Poor Ben, though. Learning to do laundry. As you properly point out, the only thing worse is never learning to do laundry.
crazymumma // Mar 14, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Laundry. The bane of my damned existence.
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