I wrote this in response to another mom’s reply on a board. Judge not, unless you know the other side of the story….
This past Friday, we went to Cheddar’s, a restaurant in Univ. City. They have a big fan-like thing in the main dining room. My son loves things that move and spin, and he got a bit overexcited, flapping his hands and shrieking in joy. He loved it, but no matter what we tried, he just wouldn’t keep quiet.
And he set his sister off, who decided to bawl.
I can’t tell you how many dirty looks we got in that restaurant. I asked the server if we could move to a table OUT OF SIGHT of the big fan-thing, and she was so nice to accommodate. Once Michael was out of sight, he calmed down and was able to concentrate on his cheese sandwich.
But Christina was a mess and we ended up having to get the rest of our food to go. I apologized to the server and she was nice to tell me, “It’s all right; don’t worry about it.”
Yes, my son is autistic. And we deal with this all the time. Michael’s a lot better than he was a year ago, but we have to deal with some of his “inappropriate” behavior. And I can’t tell you how many snarky remarks and dirty looks I’ve had leveled in my son’s direction.
My heart breaks, but I try not to let it bother me too much.
For those who would judge, you have no idea.
[tags]kids, parents, autism, day-to-day, insults, snarky, behavior, judge, judgmental[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by RaeA, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
4 responses so far ↓
Nan // Jul 12, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Oh, Annie, don’t worry. Those judging types judge us all. THEIR child would never pick their nose, knock over their juice, crawl under the table or stab their big brother with their fork. We can tell by their stern looks that OUR children are little monsters. And their children, should they ever have any, will be perfect angels all the time. They think!
Finn // Jul 13, 2007 at 7:00 am
These things that you and Nan describe are the stuff of childhood, and not something that would garner dirty looks from me.
The ones I judge are the ones who allow their children to run rampant around the restaurant and generally get in everyone else’s way.
Megan Bayliss // Jul 13, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Your words of mother love/pain resonate with me.
I have been both the judge and the judged.
Once I had children, I never again judged. Once I had a child with Autism, I begged not not be judged, but rather allowed to walk the path that every other person also walks.
Nowadays, I readily help any family with a crying child and I think, how wonderful that they are all out spending time together in a public place.
Nan // Jul 14, 2007 at 4:15 am
If more people would offer help, what a place the world would be for mothers with “difficult” kids. (or many kids, or a kid just having a ral bad day) And how enriched the helpers would be!
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