Before I became a parent I would sometimes say things like, “I won’t allow my child to behave like that in a public place,” or “I’ll teach my kids to have better manners than that kid” whenever I saw a child behaving poorly. While I have allowed a few temper tantrums to take place in public or quickly finished my shopping (or leave stores before getting what I needed) so I can whisk my unmanageable children away, my girls are good most of the time.
A friend of mine was visiting and while we were sitting in the family room Copy Cat and Pack Rat were climbing on the coffee table and jumping off. She said to them, “I don’t think Mommy wants you to jump off of the table.” To which I said to her, “It’s okay, we let them do it all of the time.” She didn’t know how to respond and looked at me with one of those “I’d NEVER let my kids do that” glares. I briefly explained that I allow Copy Cat and Pack Rat to tear the house apart and jump off the coffee table (not the kitchen tables) and the couches because they need to release their pent-up energy somehow. They always help me put the house back in order, it’s a requirement they’ve learned to accept. They are relatively well-behaved when I need them to be so I let them be kids. After all kids are only kids once.
The other day they were in my bathroom playing with their plastic tea and china (yes, breakable) tea sets. They shoved both tea sets into the corner of the sink area - we have two sinks with an area for a sitting chair in the middle and this is where they were playing. They started “stirring” the tea sets together. I use the term stirring lightly as they were making a ton of noise, it sounded like the house was coming down. Anyway, I stopped them and explained that the white tea set was breakable so they needed to be careful. The next thing I know, the china tea set is sitting next to Pack Rat away from the commotion of the tea set stirring game. Keep in mind, I didn’t tell them to take the china tea set out and set it aside, I just said, “Be careful.” I smiled proudly at my little girls for caring about their toys. How and when did they learn this?
My father-in-law will often compliment me on how well behaved Copy Cat and Pack Rat are. They seem to know the difference between being wild at home and being good in public places. They are great shoppers too (most of the time). I’m not really sure how I taught this to them. Sometimes I wonder if it is my ability to parent or their natural personalities.
by Kelly Damron
Photo graciously provided by TuTuWoN, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
2 responses so far ↓
Lynnie // Aug 17, 2008 at 1:14 am
Not only to I condone jumping from coffee table to couch for the same reasons you do, I’ve been to known to lie on the floor with a camera and say, “Can you do it again, honey?” This method turns out some very nice artistic shots! We’ve also let them take out a step ladder as an extra jumping-off point and sometimes we throw a little trampoline into the mix. Like yours, my girls are very energetic and we have to make a little room for such activities.
STL Mom // Aug 18, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I’ve heard people say that some kids are wild at home and good when they’re out, and other kids are good at home and wild when they’re out. It’s generally agreed that it’s more desirable to have kids that are good when they are out, where everyone can see them!
I have struggled with setting the rules in our house because I think it is hard for my kids to remember that something is allowed in our house, but they can’t do it when they are at another house. On the other hand, I want them to think of their home as a relaxed, comfortable place where they can have fun. Also, I have great childhood memories of playing “hot lava”.
Leave a Comment