I’ve got two kids, wonderful kids, and I’m a stay-at-home dad, full-time. Despite all the less-than-lovely child/parent moments, I’ve been feeling this urge to adopt, or at least become a foster parent. As my teen-aged son has turned into a mensch and as my youngest, about to turn 12, is slowly learning the real estate market as her soon-to-be career, my kids need me less and less.
Add to this my recent volunteer data-entry gig for our local Parent-Teacher-Student Association (PTSA). Nothing complex, just adding new member info to the PTSA database. Except I kept thinking, all of the these kids have parents, or at least one parent. So these kids get an education and, for the most part, decent health-care, and probably love. But what about the one’s who don’t? What about the kids who have no one to call Mom or Dad or Whomever? In 2006, about 5% of all American children did not live with either parent. Sure, some of those lived with another relative, but a full quarter lived with a foster parent or non-relative or were abandoned.
Let’s think about that a bit: In 2006, there were about 73.7 million kids in The United States. So the number of kids who probably could have used some serious parents was about 921,000 - give or take. Almost a million children who were out there, somewhere, in need of some shelter, hot meals, education, and love. How am I supposed to feel?
Is this just my early-warning signals, early signs of empty-nest syndrome? My next-door neighbor finds herself with her last kid out of the house and, consequently, suffers from severe anxiety attacks. Am I next? Do I find myself in the position of needing to be a parent?
[tags]kids, children, abandoned, alone, foster parenting, adoption, empty nest syndrom, welfare, education, love, parents, home, shelter, school, nutrition[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by JBrd, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
6 responses so far ↓
thordora // Sep 24, 2007 at 5:15 am
You aren’t nuts. I want to foster when we have the room as well.
All I need to do is convince my husband.
Taste Like Crazy // Sep 24, 2007 at 5:37 am
Before we had Cara, I had bridged this subject with Tucker.
I don’t think you’re crazy at all.
You’d be fulfilling two needs at once; yours and theirs.
MeMo's Mama // Sep 24, 2007 at 7:42 am
even if you are fulfilling a personal need, as long as you feel capable (which i am sure you are), i don’t see anything negative in helping out a child in such a generous way! good for you. i am looking into this myself and would love if you kept us posted on your research/accomplishments with regard to foster parenting. good luck. you have a tremendous heart!
Megin Hatch // Sep 24, 2007 at 9:05 am
I have strong thoughts on this as well. I alway saw myself adopting, and the door is certainly still open.
I’ve also thought a lot about foster parenting and think this might be a real option when the Punks are older.
One main concern for me is having to let go of these kids. Foster parenting isn’t forever.
Another concern is difficult for me to talk about. I have spoken to a couple of people who have done it (been foster parents), and advise against it while there are other kids at home. Their experiences were with extremely troubled kids and the overall effect on their family was negative. They felt is was unfair to expose their children to the violence and other unpleasantries that came with the troubled youth. This is such a hard one for me- well, wait- let me clarify 1st that I *know* all kids in the system don’t bring this baggage with them and that it is likely the minority- ok so it’s hard for me because these are the kids who most need stable loving homes.
Please… share thought and experiences with us!
Wacky Mommy // Sep 24, 2007 at 9:14 am
I’ve known lots of people who have fostered, and who are currently fostering, and they have all liked it. Some have even loved it. None have regretted it.
I think it’s a good idea, but you would probably want to bring in kids who are much younger than your bio kids. You can always give it a try and then decide not to, if it’s not for you. In our home state (Oregon) they give foster parents a lot of training beforehand, and require that they have additional trainings, once they’re certified.
MC Milker // Sep 24, 2007 at 10:36 am
I agree that it’s a wonderful thing to do when the kids are grown. Fostering is a personal choice.
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