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Looking back at my calendar, it suddenly strikes me that seven days passed and I spent no time at all with an adult that I’d known more than two months, apart from my wife.

It went like this: Monday, play date with Amanda and her mom, whom we just met at the playground last month. Tuesday, playground day where we mostly hung with Jack, whose 20-year old nanny is studying to be a teacher. Wednesday was Amanda and her mom again, and on Thursday we saw Andrew, whose dad I barely know except to chat a bit.

Of course, we’ve found like many new parents that it’s hard to get together with our non-parent friends. Things get in the way: nap schedules and babysitting problems. And I’m sure we’re impossibly boring now, talking about nothing but our daughter.

But even worse to me is that I no longer see my working-parent friends — by which I mean couples with kids where both parents work. Our childless friends have a key quality in abundance: flexibility. They can come over after bedtime for a late dinner or swing by on the weekend on their way to dodgeball or hang gliding or whatever it is people without children do. And, of course, our friends without kids dote on Boobaby, and she dotes right back.

Similarly, I can remain connected with my stay-at-home parent friends. You’d think that such encounters would be all about the kids, not at all social in an adult sense. But people with kids master the skill of playing three games of ring-around-the-rosy and then picking up your conversation exactly where you left off, so an outing with kids is still social. We play, drink coffee, sing songs, and gossip while our kids orbit around us: everyone is entertained.

But I don’t have very many stay-at-home parent friends. It’s a really uncommon choice in our circle; most of our friends with kids have to or choose to work, and because of that, it’s nearly impossible to maintain ties. Sometimes, happy as I am to be spending my days with my daughter and our playground acquaintances, I ache for the companionship of a real friend.

“Meeting up” was once a natural part of our existences: before having kids I doubt three days ever passed without at least some in-person contact with old friends. With a 2-year old, at least, it seems near to impossible to find time where we can all meet and just be friends in that same old way.

by Doodaddy

[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, stay-at-home-dad, stay-at-home-parent, adults, playdate, play-date, friends, relationships, contact, interaction, connected[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by lorenzo cuppini, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved