“What are you eating?â€
Can I have some?
“I’m not tired!â€
I can barely keep my eyes open.
“Nothing happened.â€
Something happened, and you’re not going to like it.
“It was an accident.â€
Nothing about it was an accident.
“I can hold it.â€
For one minute, tops.
“It’s a little scary, but not too scary for me.â€
I’ll be having nightmares for the next six weeks.
“I cleaned my room.â€
I shoved everything in the closet.
“I’m ready to leave for school!â€
I’m still barefoot and without pants, but I did get my shirt on.
“I’ve played thirty minutes of Nintendo.â€
I’ve played at least an hour.
“He did it.â€
I did it.
“What noise? I didn’t hear anything.â€
I broke something.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you, Mommy.
Do you have some to add to this list? I’d love to read them!
[tags]kids, children, parents, words, meaning, feelings, candor, truth, honesty, hilarious, funny[/tags]
Photo of some seriously hypnotizing eyes graciously provided by the author, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
8 responses so far ↓
Lori // Aug 16, 2007 at 12:32 pm
“I don’t have any homework.”
Translation: I have a report due tomorrow.
“I promise I’ll do it right after this show.”
Translation: I might do it after the next three shows, but probably only if you continue to nag me about it.
Slouching Mom // Aug 16, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Lori: Heh. These are good, and I’ve heard them come out of my older son’s mouth many a time.
Jodi // Aug 16, 2007 at 3:50 pm
LOL…I did a series on “IdontknownotmeIdidnt do it” Those are my “other” kids, that I didnt know I had…LOL
I plan on rerunning it in a few weeks…
This is great made me smile!
mamaholler // Aug 16, 2007 at 8:18 pm
I laughed my butt off!
I can’t think of any off the top of my head that you haven’t all covered here. If I do… I’ll be back
Janet // Aug 17, 2007 at 6:08 am
Good stuff!
I have one:
“Are we there yet?”
Translation: If we don’t get there in the next 5 minutes I am going to poke my sister until she cries..
InTheFastLane // Aug 17, 2007 at 6:37 pm
“I only watched one show” - “I have watched two hours of tv, but since you seem like you aren’t really paying attention, maybe they all blurred into one half hour time period.”
Stimey // Aug 17, 2007 at 6:57 pm
For us, “Whew, it’s really hot today,” means, “I want ice cream.”
Monica // Aug 19, 2007 at 3:48 am
I’ve yet to be inducted into the lexicon of children, but I have a few I tell my husband:
“I paid that bill”= I’m going to pay the bill, I’ve made out the check and as soon as I find a stamp I’ll mail it. Then I’ll hide the late notice and the “service will be cancelled in ‘x’ days notice from you.
“I’m not that hungry for dinner, I had a big lunch”= Ten minutes before you got home I at a half bag of doritos and some oreos.
“Sure your Mother can visit this Thanksgiving”= But in the meantime I’ll be thinking of excuses why she can’t, including but not limited to faking food poisoning”
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