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Today, I ran across an article from the Baltimore Sun, entitled “Hovering parents bully teachers- Educators report harassment from ‘helicopter’ caretakers.” I read the story and felt my blood pressure rise for many reasons, and I thought I’d share why here.

1. Articles like these do nothing but perpetuate stereotypes of beleaguered educators and pushy parents. It doesn’t facilitate any conversation, it ends it, polarizing parents and teachers into opposite camps, exactly what should NOT be happening if we really want kids to succeed.

2. Good and positive communication is the key. Parents only hear from school when there’s a problem. Why don’t we ever hear from school when things are going great? You know what would be remarkable? If a teacher took the time to send a quick note saying “Sasha is really trying hard and improving in spelling. I can see all the hard work she must be doing at home. It’s really paying off in the classroom.” This kind of positive message would totally change how the parent felt about the teacher, and make for positive feelings all around, especially for the child. Likewise, parents should also send teachers impromptu messages when things are going well. Why should all home-school communication center on the negative?

3. When teachers ignore parents concerns, parents get pushy. I have seen more parents get wound up and fly off the handle when hearing nothing from school than when they hear too much. Instead of ignoring a parent email or concern, a teacher should at least try to answer, even if it’s something non-committal like “I am so sorry- it may take me a day or so to get back to you- we are in the middle of lesson planning, but I promise I will address your concern.”

4. Likewise, parents should let teachers know if there’s something going on at home that might affect your child during the day. A quick note, even if no biggie, shows that you are concerned and a part of the solution versus part of the problem.

5. Look at it from the other person’s perspective. In this article, teachers say “Parents act like their child is the only one in the classroom” Well, Duh. Our concern as parents is Our child, and we have some concern for the rest, but our focus is Our Child- that’s OUR job. But if a teacher acts like your concern is silly or unimportant, how comfortable are you going to be knowing your child is in their care all day long? What if the shoe was on the other foot? If a child is struggling, parents are worried and crazed. They want it fixed. But many things, like reading difficulties, can’t be fixed overnight. But what you can do is make a plan that works at school and at home to help the problem. Then everyone owns part of the issue, and everyone is responsible for doing their share- This is called Cooperation, and I think I remember learning something about it on Sesame Street. (sorry for the sarcasm).

The bottom line here is that teachers and parents are both people, needing understanding. Parents act out of worry and fear, but we need to make sure we don’t come on like demanding, diva bosses when talking to teachers. Quite possibly, there’s another side to the story as well. Teachers have to treat parents as part of the team and respect them, even when they are not always perfect. No one is. And since teachers are in the business of education, educate the parents of your students on how you’d like to communicate when school starts. Then it can be a two way street where everyone wins- and most importantly- the children win.

Because as Rick LaVoie says- When elephants fight, it’s the grass that gets trampled. When teachers and parents fight, the kids lose.

by Whitney Hoffman

[tags]kids, children, students, school, education, classroom, teacher, relationship, apprehension, adjustment, perspective[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Robem, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved