By the time you read this, my husband, daughter, our potty seat, and I will be tucked into a tiny three-bedroom ranch house in Cleveland, OH.

You know, that popular summer vacation destination.

Cleveland.

Ohio.

From there we’ll head further east, to western New York, and then on to Cape Cod. But the miles between our home on the prairie and these locales requires hours upon hours of car travel.

With a toddler. And a potty seat.

Oy.

Our longest car trip so far has been about 12 hours, exactly 11 hours and 45 minutes of which could qualify as torture under the Geneva Convention. I’ve learned a few lessons about toddler travel in the meantime, but my curiosity got the better of me and I Googled “toddler travel tips.”

This popular site returned the following handy-dandy hints:

* A week before your departure, list everything you’ll need to take and start gathering it right away. If you can, take at least a half-day off work before you leave to give yourself more time to pack.

Oh, you mean throwing dirty laundry into a collapsible hamper the night before we leave and stuffing it in the back of my van isn’t a good idea? And dude, if I could get a half-day off, I’d be getting a massage.

* Pack everything you want easy access to on the road separately so you’re not forced to dig around in your suitcase en route. Jackets and hats, for example, should be within easy reach. And keep basic supplies such as sunscreen and mosquito repellent in a separate bag so you can take advantage of opportunities for outdoor fun along the way.

Does stopping at a gas station on the Pennsylvania-New York border and attempting to change a poopy diaper in a filthy restroom with no changing station and a concrete floor covered in urine count as “outdoor fun?”

* Schedule your departure to ensure your children catch some quality zzz’s on the road.

Guess we’ll be leaving the house at 10 p.m.

* At this age, you can start introducing books on tape/CD. Fairy tales and other familiar stories are your best bet for keeping toddlers’ attention. Songs and singing games (think “Clap, Clap, Clap Your Hands” and “Where is Thumbkin?”) are also endlessly entertaining.

I can just hear The Poo now: “Mommy, please shove Thumbkin up your bum and pop in that movie, now, OK, hmmmm?”

I have only one crucial tip to add – stay home!

What are your tried and true toddler travel tips?

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[tags]kids, parents, children, summer vacation, potty, Cleveland, Cape Cod, New York, travel tips, advice, advise[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Chris Seufert, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved