We’d like to open the comments to any parent out there. Even if you have never commented before, here’s your chance to clear your throat and step up to the mic. - The question? How do you feel you are doing as a parent? What are your parenting goals, and how is your success rate?
Yes, this is a deep and personal question, to be sure. And if you need to, comment anonymously, we completely understand. But chime in here, ‘fess up, tell us if you’re the parent you want to be.
Oh, and thanks again for reading. We dig you a lot.
by Stu Mark
[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, criticism, comments, evaluation, success, failure[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Alain Bachellier, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
4 responses so far ↓
Amy Nathan // Nov 29, 2007 at 10:35 am
Wow, that’s a big question! No answer from our author?
Honestly, I think I’m a great mom. I’m not perfect - but I believe that this is one of the two things in life I am meant to do - the other is write. I’ve actually thought about becoming a foster parent when my kids leave home - and with a 16 and 12 year old - that’s not too far off.
I’m not saying I don’t have quandaries and struggles and moments where I want to pull my hair out, but on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say I’m a solid 8 on most days. My downfall? Setting a good example for housework and organizational skills!
Stu Mark // Nov 29, 2007 at 10:49 am
Amy,
It’s a tough question. I think I do ok, but I am a notoriously tough grader when it comes to myself. My wife has a very high opinion of my parenting, but me…
I am not an autocrat parent. I’m a consensus parent. I approach the kids with “rules” and ask them if they think the rule is fair. If they do, then all I do is remind them if they ooops. I don’t yell, hit, or punish. My kids get good grades and are social and kind and all that. So I’d say I’m doing a good job, except all I can focus on are the missed opportunities, the soccer games I missed, the tv time that I passed on so I could do work or whatever, instead of crashing on the couch with them and vegging. Really, vegetable time is where I suck, ’cause I get bored so easily (I’m pretty sure I’m ADD, I just don’t have time to get myself tested)… Also, I’m not overly fond of wacky behavior. I’m pretty uptight in that area. I don’t mind the kids doing it (heck, I encourage it)… but I rarely join in. I stiffen up. So that’s the downside to having me as a parent. Plus I’m a step-dad who is in charge of kids whose father is in the picture and a good dad to them. So I constantly take it personally when they see me as a step-dad and not a dad. It’s my issue, not theirs, but it effects all of us. So my mission is to find a way to accept my step-dadness and be cool with it, to shed the resentment.
Wow, that was a lot. Maybe I should turn the step-dad stuff into a column.
InTheFastLane // Nov 30, 2007 at 9:00 am
Most of the time I think I am doing an OK job. But, I am a harsh critic of myself. I think of all the things I could do better. I focus on the times I yell when I didn’t want to. Sometimes I think I expect too much from my kids but then on the other hand, I think they should have high expectations (not perfection, but they should be shooting high). My biggest gripe with myself is that sometimes I am so busy with life’s “stuff,” that I forget to just enjoy the moment.
nan // Nov 30, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Usually, I feel good about my parenting. Recently, though, with the time of year, the school fair, my work, shopping, decorating, friends’ and family crises, and my husband’s serious overwork? I have been nagging, critical, and downright boring. I know this, and hope next week I can get back on track!
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