Grasshopper New Media Presents...

Sally Rudy died Easter weekend. Her funeral was March 29. Nancy and I went. I put on a suit.

The last time I talked with Sally was a few months ago. Nancy last saw her three years ago. We never talked much. But we recognized everything that was said in the tributes. Direct, blunt, open, loving, committed to friends, to underdogs, to kids and dogs.

We knew Sally because I taught with her house mate of 32 years, Eunice. Eunice taught English at the college where I taught speech. She started teaching there the year I was born and continued teaching after my seven years at the college were done.

Although this is all very touching, what does it have to do with a series of posts about our son Andrew, about lessons I learned about parenting? Because Andrew was born on Eunice’s birthday. And because Sally was the first person to show up to visit Nancy after Andrew’s birth. She was a dietitian at the hospital. She noticed Nancy’s name and came to visit.

Eunice and Sally, Alice Joy, Sonja and Anna, Sister Elaine, Bud Jacobs, Wava–these are some of the people who have consistently asked after Andrew over the years. They aren’t family, at least not biologically. They have prayed for him, listened to stories about him, been amazed at how the time has flown. They are also people that, with a couple exceptions, are unknown to him. Some of these people were around when he was born. We left town when he was five, and when we came back to Fort Wayne, our paths were in different places. I would see them, but they wouldn’t see Andrew.

What characterizes all of them is that they genuinely care and that they have understood that a growing boy tends to not be aware of people outside his circle of interests. For me, they have been the people to brag to without apology. They have been a faithful group of friends, far more faithful than I am.

They aren’t all gone. Alice Joy with her cancer and Sally with her heart aren’t around any more. But we talked to Eunice before the funeral and told her we’ll have her over. I think Andrew, our English and Communication Media major, may be ready for a meaningful conversation with his birthday soul-mate.

It’s late, but not too late.

And, for parents of younger children, who wonder about some of these older people around, wonder no more. They are the fans in the stands, fiercely loyal, happy to watch, delighted with any news.

They–we–are on your side.

————–

Andrew Swanson turned 21 in February 2008. This post is part of a series of reflections on 21 years of being a dad.

by Jon Swanson

[tags]parents, parenting, kids, children, friends, fans, adults, family, support, caring, love[/tags]