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I just had another one of “those” mornings, getting my youngest off to school. He was moving at the pace of a tree sloth, and melted down whenever I suggested he kick it into second gear. There were things that he “forgot” to tell me about the night before, now saying “Mom, you need to cover these books before I get on the bus.” Then I melted down.

1. I don’t have to do anything- it was your assignment, and telling me now makes it impossible to do anything about it. (The book sox people and the text book people are not speaking the same language, and none of the book socks fit the new, taller text books. Speaking of which, they don’t fit well into the backpack either, so maybe I just have to spam the book publishers….)

2. And now you decided you are not buying lunch either- then why does it have to be three minutes before the bus to make this happen? You don’t like being rushed- neither do I!

So after much parental fuss and stress and some yelling because I was NOT HAPPY, I took a breath. John and I stopped blaming each other for this situation, and we tried to figure out the solution.

1. Write a note to the teacher saying we need new book covers and I would get them today.
2. Make the lunch and drive the kid to school, since the bus was history.
3. Check the night before about everything that needs to be done the next morning.
4. John has to write down everything in his agenda and be responsible for it all. Anything not accomplished he has to pay the penalty for. It’s his work, not mine.
5. If he does not decide the night before whether he is buying or bringing, he is buying. Even if it’s something he doesn’t particularly like.
6. He’s getting a watch, in the hopes that he can start to learn to better manage his time.

For John, the consequences for his action need to be real and immediate. He is the first kid to say “But it’s not my fault” when, on many levels, it is. But it still should not be about who’s fault, or who’s to blame, it’s gotta be about problem solving, or else every morning for the rest of the school year will be like this one.

And lord knows if that’s the case, I’ll be in therapy by Sadie Hawkins Day.

by Whitney Hoffman

[tags]home, kids, parents, children, organization, time management, care, love, stress, tasks, problem solving[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by jurvetson, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved