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Yesterday, at the tail end of my first trimester and just days before transitioning into that wonderfully blissful three month “honeymoon” period of pregnancy, where the nausea and fatigue subside and I can still see my toes, I had a terrible day. Had I been employed, I would have called in sick. But as MeMo summoned me to her crib and as Joe showered in preparation for another day at the office, I realized there was no chance of a sick day for this stay at home mom.

I slipped out of bed, groggy and lethargic, and actually lowered the crib rail, something I almost never do, to pull The Meemers from her crib. Rather than our usual cheery twenty minute play session before breakfast, I simply carried MeMo downstairs and secured her into her highchair. It was somewhere between the coffee maker malfunctioning, spilling black liquid across the counter top and down the face of the cabinets, and MeMo throwing her entire breakfast to the floor, that I decided I was going to take a much needed day off. Not a true “Lie in Bed Watching Back-to-Back Episodes of ‘History Detectives’ Day Off,’, for it’s almost impossible for Joe to step away from his self-owned start-up, and I had no one else lined up to care for MeMo. But just enough of a day off to get me through to the 6:00 hour when Joe would arrive home to take over caring for The Meemers.

That day, I left the counter tops a mess (I did, however clean up the coffee spill), the dishes in the sink, and the clothes in the dryer. I fed MeMo applesauce from a jar, yogurt from a container, brown rice from the night before, and fruits she could manage on her own, rather than the well-planned meals I usually prepare. I left the cats untouched, the mail in the mailbox and switched off the computer and phone ringers. I declined an opportunity to shower during The Meemers’ morning nap and instead spent the time doing something I had not yet done in my thirteen months as a stay at home mom: I watched television… in my pajamas!

On my day off the sky was clear of clouds, the sun shone brightly, but not too strongly, and the perfect weather knocked on every door and window inviting us to play in the park or take a walk along the Charles River. Guilt tugged at my heart like only a mom shirking her duties could feel. It pulled at my pajama bottoms, reminding me that winter would be here before I knew it, that the warm, perfect days of summer were available in limited quantities, and that MeMo would someday be off to college and our days of toddler play would be gone forever. But I also knew that if I didn’t give myself this day of partial relaxation, that it would affect our entire family in the months to come and that on this day, I just needed to take care of myself first, in turn doing what was best for all of us.

That night, at my request, Joe came home a bit early from work. We ordered take-out and left the kitchen in the same state it was that morning, with a few disposable containers added to the mess. Joe bathed MeMo and soloed his way through her bedtime routine. After another mindless stint of reality television, I climbed back into bed at 9:30 – still dressed in the same pajamas I’d worn to bed the night before.

The next morning I awoke feeling like a million bucks! My “day off”, like an eraser to a chalkboard, wiped away just enough of the accumulated stress and fatigue left by the non-stop running around and multi-tasking that most moms know all too well. Hopefully I won’t need to call in sick to The Meemers and her impending sibling too many more times in their childhoods. But after a day of experiencing the guilt and the rewards of my experimental day off, I know that sometimes the mom needs to come first, so that she can best take care of everyone else who takes first seat every other day of her life!

[tags]pregnancy, kids, children, parenting, stay at home mom, dad, housework, sickness, illness[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by ducrest_marc, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved