When you are the parent of twins you experience some benefits of having two the same age as well as some drawbacks. I won’t get into how traumatic my girls early arrival was and how having two infants was more stress than I could have ever imagined, so maybe another time. What I’ve noticed, though, as my daughters have gotten older is how much they love and hate each other.
Thankfully, the days were they like one another and play well together out number the days when they are pushing and hitting each other. Today, I noticed a true act of sisterly love that could have been between two children of any age, but mine happen to be twins. During swim lessons one of my girls, “Blondie,” reached out her hand to, “Curly,” as she swam toward the steps. My heart warmed as I watched the two of them interact. This simple act beamed in both of their faces when they readied for their next turn to swim toward me.
There are days where they dance together, chase one another around the house, laugh so hard they both fall onto the ground, and hold hands as they fall asleep. I’m sure it helps that they are the same sex, although I’ve heard of strong bonds between opposite sex twins too.
My one concern is their dependency upon their friendship. How easy will it be for them to create their own individual friendships? Will they share friends (oh, I can see the drama now)? Will they grow apart with each new friend added to the mix? Or will they simply always remain truly dedicated to their friendship created through their sisterly bond?
by Kelly Damron
Photo graciously provided by marhoons , through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
1 response so far ↓
AmyL // Jul 8, 2008 at 6:45 am
We struggle with some of the friend issues too. The older boys (age 10) have access to neighbors their age and if more than one kid is available to play everyone does well in a group. The difficulty is when only one child comes over. Then one boy will play with the neighbor and the other boy gets excluded.
Interestingly, it’s not always the same kid playing odd man out. Seems to depend on mood and maturity, but I’m not totally sure. I know that one thing each of the older boys covets is a friend of his very own. They don’t complain much, but it is difficult with someone in your space all the time.
I’ve focused on nurturing their friendship while encouraging individual activity when I could. They fought a lot before their younger brothers came along. Since then they’ve been a lot closer - perhaps having a common adversary helps lol. The little boys (age 5) don’t have much in the way of neighbors their age but play together so nicely I’m often surprised. They do squabble, but there’s usually a sympathetic older brother or two around and alliances can be formed (and broken) at a moment’s notice.
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