I’ve spent the last nine years trying to convince my older son that eating can be a pleasurable thing. He’s never bought it. He views eating as taking up time that could be much better spent doing almost anything else. I’ve never seen a child quite like him. He will take one bite, maybe two, of a cookie and declare that he’s had enough.
But having bigger fish to fry is not the only reason he eschews food. He’s always been extremely sensitive to texture, and consequently there are very few foods that he will eat. If you don’t believe me, I invite you to come over to our house and observe my son starve himself rather than eat something he finds aversive. I am awed by his willpower.
All this to say that at nearly ten years old and 4’8â€, my so-called big boy weighs 58 or 59 pounds. By way of contrast, my little boy, who is five, weighs 48 pounds. That just doesn’t seem right, does it? So you can imagine that when I put a snack in my first-born’s backpack for him to eat in the middle of his morning at school, it’s going to be a relatively high-fat snack. High in one of the healthy fats, but high in fat nonetheless.
Except that this year, I, along with all of the other parents whose kids attend school in our district, have been informed that I am no longer allowed to send in anything but low-fat and low-sugar snacks (low-sugar is defined as any product that does not contain sugar as one of the first three ingredients listed).
I’d like to know whether it’s unreasonable of me to be angry about this new rule, a rule, needless to say, with an admirable purpose, that of slowing the spread of the epidemic of obesity among our nation’s children.
Because I am angry. This is my child’s snack we’re talking about. It’s not your child’s snack. As far as I’m concerned, you can send whatever snack you want into school with your child.
But I guess you can’t. And neither can I.
Opinions, anyone?
If you’re enjoying GNMParents, please consider subscribing. It’s free and easy! Just enter your email address in the box to the right or click on the orange square above our header. Thank you!
[tags]kids, children, eating, food, nutrition, sugar, fat, snacks, healthy[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Bob.Fornal, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
32 responses so far ↓
Chantal Hubert // Sep 13, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Oh, this is quickly becoming a big pet peeve of mine! I understand the school’s intentions, to avoid having to deal with the small amount of parents who send in nothing but high-fat, high sugar snacks. That said – it’s not the school’s job to parent, it’s the parents. And yes, some of it will do it badly. All we can do is educate and hope for change, right?
Karen // Sep 13, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Who made this decision? Are there provisions for exceptions? I would think someone who’s 4′8″ and weighs less than 60 pounds would qualify for one. Surely it’s clear to anyone who cares about your son that putting on weight would be a good thing for him.
If there are exceptions, I think it’s an OK policy. I wouldn’t vote for it, but I wouldn’t organize a general rebellion, either. If there are no exceptions, then, well, bad idea.
Thordora // Sep 13, 2007 at 1:00 pm
I’m becoming awfully tired of the flat out policing of everything. What next, you have to have written permission to pack lunch meat? What if you dare send Spam?
I worry that with stuff like this, you lose the chance to explain good eating habits to your sons, and the differences between good and bad fats. I’m just tired of being constantly told to do stuff for my own good. Especially when it affects my kids.
Stu Mark // Sep 13, 2007 at 1:14 pm
IMHO, before getting angry, I’d consider gently approaching an administrator with the health report on your child. It’s possible that they will immediately be cool with it. Odder things have happened.
If they react snidely to this, or dismissive, then you can call the superintendent of schools and open up a can of whoop-ass.
Beck // Sep 13, 2007 at 1:51 pm
I would file a complaint AND send a strongly worded letter about school intrusion into the right of parents to make the dietary choices that THEY see as correct for THEIR children.
My kids school send home a prissy “send healthy snacks!” note with the kids, but it’s not being enforced.
My five year old and my eight year old weigh EXACTLY THE SAME THING – 48 pounds.
Amanda // Sep 13, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I am all for the policing of vending machines and foods sold on the school premises, but what comes in a brown paper bag, that’s off limits.
I am so sorry and I agree vehemently with Beck. Take a stand.
crazymumma // Sep 13, 2007 at 2:07 pm
I understand teh sugar rule. But really, you are his parent, you know what he needs. Call a meeting with the powers that be and lay down the law according to Slouch.
Kyla // Sep 13, 2007 at 2:07 pm
OMG! I would be livid. Call the administration and talk with someone. Not every child is at risk for obesity, some of us struggle to get them to gain anything at all. They shouldn’t make across the board decisions that disregard kids with these sorts of conditions. I know their goal is admirable, but it doesn’t apply to every situation.
InTheFastLane // Sep 13, 2007 at 2:12 pm
The school districts around here are doing this too. And while I admire the intent – my son too could use more calories, more fat, and more protein. I still have him drinking whole milk because At 38 lbs and I forget the height, but his weight to height ratio does not even get to the bottom of the chart, he needs nutrition, not low cal, low fat food. BTW – Dash sounds very much like your son. I also try whole fat yogurt because he has reflux and cool things seem to go down better. Luckily this hasn’t been an issue at his school yet.
Megin Hatch // Sep 13, 2007 at 2:36 pm
The students in my son’s k class alternate providing snack for the whole class. I sighed when I heard that they ate Oreos for snack yesterday, and certainly wished that the teacher sent some approved suggestions home for parents to choose from. My son would operate better if he had yogurt or cheese and crackers or heck even just goldfish for a snack other than straight up sugar.
That being said- in this case what I provide for my son DOES impact your son. In the case of brown bag- absolutely not. I would strongly support talking about healthy food snacks in the classroom, but this rule seems way to intrusive.
I agree with Stu about initiating the conversation with a school administrator. Your child is surely not alone! It might be s simple as a conversation.
I wonder what’ll they do about homemade foods? Muffins and banana bread etc.
PLEASE keep us posted.
Lori // Sep 13, 2007 at 2:56 pm
As someone who has about had it with the Nutrition Police at my children’s school, I am entirely sympathetic. I would definitely talk with someone, and hopefully you will find the powers that be more reasonable than the policy implies. Obviously schools make all kinds of exceptions for children with allergies, or other strict dietary needs, and it seems to me you have a very valid argument. It might not hurt to get a nice little note from your pediatrician backing you up. A doctor’s note still does wonders!
My frustration is not that as a society we want to see our children eating healthier food, and that schools should be a part of the solution. My frustration is that there is a wide range of “healthy”, and still a lot of debate about what is healthy for children and what isn’t. The question becomes how far you take it. I know there are parents at my children’s school who want to go so far as making the school lunch program all organic and vegetarian. Well, not only will that cost a fortune, but it is also essentially imposing the values of a few on the masses.
Monica // Sep 13, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Can a school do that? Tell a mother what foods to pack in her own child’s lunch? Slouching mom, call the school administrator right away and share your concerns. If this requirement is truly for students to maintain a healthy weight, they should understand that you are trying to plump Ben up and allow it. I really cannot wrap my brain around this one. If that fails, then pull out the big guns (in a metaphorical way of course) and go to a school board meeting. Then there is always a letter to the editor…and so forth. Ugghh…
Aliki // Sep 13, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Well, I am often the one to complain that our public schools are not health-conscious enough and that too many kids are eating unhealthy school lunches..BUT, I would definitely talk with the school. Liam, at 7, weighs in at 40 pounds only and god knows if he’d eat high fat food I’d be drowning him in them.
I think it’s unfair of the school to emphasize *low-fat*–I have to say I agree with the low sugar, but that is entirely different from low-fat. You should take issue with the low-fat part of that ridiculous rule from above.
A.L. Hatch // Sep 13, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Totally ridiculous. Last time I checked, my property taxes funded that school. And last time I checked, no governing body was allowed to dictate what I eat or what my child eats.
Just as NYC hospitals are banning formula, schools ban snacks with fat.
I’m sorry, but this is unacceptable. If I were you, I’d take it up with the school board. I bet you’d find many parents are with you on this.
The Poo is like you son. She won’t eat anything b/c of texture issues. If she wants to eat high-fat homemade blueberry muffins, I’m going to send them in her pack with her.
OOOOOOOHHHH, I am FUMING at this!
LawyerMama // Sep 13, 2007 at 6:16 pm
I’d be pissed as hell. But I wouldn’t raise a stink immediately because this is your child’s teacher & an administration you’ll be dealing with for awhile. I’d call the teacher and explain why you will be sending in higher fat (albeit healthy) snack food for your son. If the teacher or the administration tell you no, I’d (a) ignore them & send it anyway and (b) raise holy hell!
We have the same issue with Hollis and I don’t see it going away anytime soon, so I’m sympathetic!
Stu Mark // Sep 13, 2007 at 6:29 pm
What Meg said about “It might be s simple as a conversation.” – Yeah, for me, in my school district, everything is as simple as a conversation. At our middle school and elementary school, whenever there was the slightest issue on anyone’s part, I would call, talk to a VP, and they would be cool. They’d either explain their position in a way that I got it, or they’d hear my take and agree to make a change.
Now, my jeweler, not so easy to deal with.
Jennifer (Faking It) // Sep 13, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Hmm. I don’t find myself angry at this one. Not that I agree with the idea, but just that…my first reaction isn’t anger. It’s more sympathy for all of the obese kids I see around whose parents continue to think a Twinkie is an okay snack. Is it right that schools should have to “police” some parents? Nope. But, damn, some kids so need someone to have their back. If it were my kid who needed the high fat snack though, I’d just go ahead and send it. Maybe a chat with his teacher before I did so, but…I’d probably just send it. (Now, if you chat with the teacher and that chat doesn’t go well — then I’d likely get my dander up!)
nan // Sep 13, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Fat is very necessary for kids’ brains to develop properly. Coats the ol’ neuron whatsits. It sounds like everyone agrees that sugar is unnecessary and BAD though!
Joy of course // Sep 14, 2007 at 4:08 am
We are always trying to sneak some kind of “fat” into Ben’s diet as well. He and your Ben seem to be kindred on the eating thing. I often wonder how he came from my womb. I live to eat. He won’t eat to live unless we force him.
As for the school lunch thing. I agree the comments so far. It is a good thing for them to remove the junk from the schools offerings. I would even say it’s a good thing to encourage parents to send in a healthy snack. But restricting what you provide for your own child seems an infringement on your rights and your ability to be the parent.
b*babbler // Sep 14, 2007 at 5:05 am
I can understand where this rule comes from – the desire to reduce childhood obesity, provide kids with healthy, nutritious fare that will help them have a more productive day at school, reduce “snack” disagreements between kids – but still.
I have so many problems with this methodology though. By overpolicing it removes the parents right to choose, but more importantly it takes away the opportunity for children to learn appropriate nutrition and self-control.
Haven’t these guys ever learn that something forbidden becomes that much more tantalizing?
And (not to scare you) but what is going to happen if there are exceptions that need to be made for one kid over another? Is that kids lunch now going to be marked by the other kids because, horror of horrors he has cheese? Or a full fat cookie?
Obviously the ridiculousness of this policy is irritating me to no end (and thus even more wordy than usual), so I’ll try to be constructive and suggest you take it up with the school supervisors, with a list of your reasoning – both applicable to your specific child and in general. If that doesn’t work, go higher. And if that doesn’t work, send what you need to anyway – your kid’s health comes first. Are they going to be sending samples to a lab for nutrition analysis?
Margaret // Sep 14, 2007 at 6:16 am
Um wow, I would be livid. I’m in a similar boat – my almost 6 year old weighs 36 pounds, here 4 year old sister? 45 pounds. So while other kids in her class reach the end of booster seat (as per state laws) my first grader still doesn’t weigh enough to be out of a carseat ( she sits in a booster seat anyway).
To tell someone what to feed their children (barring medical necessity) is just wrong. And most of those “healthy” snack – the low fat, low sugar ones are filled with artificial sweeteners which are not that good for the body.
Lori at Spinning Yellow // Sep 14, 2007 at 6:28 am
Wow, I am surprised that they could make that demand. It would be better if they gave a list of suggested snacks instead of outlawing some. I agree that it is not right for the school to decide for you.
That said, I was annoyed last year when my son would come home and tell me about the “great” snacks everyone else had. Like candy and cookies and things the teacher specifically asked the parents not to bring in. So my kid had to watch the other kids have yummy treats while I forced him to have boring grapes or carrots because I thought it was the right snack for him and because I was following the rules.
cce // Sep 14, 2007 at 6:35 am
Slouching Mom, afraid I can’t join you in your outrage. I’ve ranted about this topic before but on the flip side of the argument. I think it’s an exemplary thing your school district is attempting. While your son may be under weight, the majority of his peers suffer an altogether different fate at the hands of parents who seem to have missed the memo about healthy eating. I also think the school district is on to something that has to do with behavior problems and the associations between sugar, food coloring, and hyperactivity. Snack food companies do such a good job thinking about convenient, take-to-school packaging for their garbage, that I tempted to say that sending kids to school with junk food has become commonplace simply because it’s just more convenient.
Lisa G. // Sep 14, 2007 at 9:30 am
I think banning low-fat and low-sugar snacks is a) totally not the school’s place and b) just dumb.
Juice (even 100% fruit juice) and fruits are high in natural sugars. Milk and yogurt are high in natural sugars and sometimes fats.
Snacks that are usually labeled as “low-fat” get that label because the company got sneaky with the serving size (if it’s 0.5 grams of fat per serving, they company can label it as zero grams of fat per serving) or because there’s a lot of high fructose corn syrup or sugar to make up for it.
I’d rather my kid have a couple full fat, full sugar cookies every now and again than eat those so-called low-fat, low-sugar snacks. Probably healthier for them in more ways than one.
Oh, and I wouldn’t claim that artificial sweeteners are inherently evil, but they do make many people sick to their stomachs (including me).
Sorry for the lengthy post. Having gestational diabetes has really gotten me to pay attention to this kind of stuff.
Sanne // Sep 14, 2007 at 10:18 am
This kind of regulation makes me fall of my chair with amazement. I’m Dutch, coming from a country where rules are definitely different than in North America. I know should take that into account, but still I cannot imagine that a parent is obliged to only give his/her child a certain kind of snack at school. Are there really no exceptions made to this rule? And is it really enforced? What is the teacher supposed to do if a child brings a ‘forbidden’ snack?
Good luck with it. I hope he’ll get to eat what’s right for him at school asap.
Emily // Sep 15, 2007 at 1:29 pm
The rule is dumb. I think the school does have a right to limit what comes in. There is no reason for potato chips, cookies, apple juice (which has no nutritional value), or soda. And the school should take a stand on those things because it is hard to get your kids to eat healthy when other kids are eating crap.
But, the multi-grain, loaded with fruits and veggies (pureed to hide the texture), baked with eggs and whole milk muffins I make to get healthy fats and calories into my picky kid? I’m tailoring to the individual child, which I thought was kind of the goal.
Stacy // Sep 17, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Come on parents think about it for a minute. Is one meal in the entire day the only time your child can get the fat or sugar necessary. Can you think beyond yourself for a second and think that while your kid may need a little extra fat or sugar it is not so vital as to hinder the 85% of kids who do not need it. There are two other meals and dessert in a day.
You are smart parents to know what your kids need teaching them to be example and obey rules is going to far out weigh what snack they get for lunch. When your child is 17 he will not remember the snack as much as your attitude toward school rules. Teach him a rebellious spirit now and you will wish you had just got a little more creative with your snacks. Unless you agree with the masses that it is an all about “oneself” world and that we are not responsible to anyone.
GET CREATIVE!!!! Your kid can be an example and learn a few cooking tricks as well.
Support your school and your kids will learn a greater lesson than nutrition They’ll learn Leadership, compassion, duty, creativity and service.
Anger, letters, and tempers only beget the same thing. Try a different approach. The rules are meant for the masses and the minority just needs to be a little more creative.
InTheFastLane // Sep 17, 2007 at 6:01 pm
I guess I am not enough of a rule follower to believe that just because there is a rule in place, that is has to be is a good rule. This is a rule that seems to be impinging on personal rights. This is not like banning smoking where the act of smoking can hurt people who are not smoking.
I do think that you can also teach your child valuable lessons on being assertive and respectful at the same time. Stating your opinion does not mean that you are against the school. You could take it too far, but there is nothing wrong in calling up the principal and politely explaining your position. If it is done respectfully, then the what you have taught your child is that it is ok to have your own opinion, and it is ok to ask questions and you can still support the school even while you do these things. As Stacy stated – it is about the attitude.
As for the snack question: there are ways to get healthy fats and calories into kids without resorting to junk food. If the snack has sound nutritional value, I do not think it should be disallowed. Twinkies and Coke on the other hand?
Stacy // Sep 17, 2007 at 7:20 pm
In the fast lane,
It is not my intent to say that all rules should be blindly followed. I agree that a healthy perspective and an unselfish attitude will help guide which battles or rules we will fight in this life.
They say that evil persists when good men stand by and do nothing. There are definately rules worth fighting against. I just think that we need to weigh the pros and cons of a rule and how it effects the masses before we make ripples that we can’t take back. By evaluating if the rule is in the best interest for the health and safety of the masses we can decide if it is worth fighting for or against.
The cool thing is that we control our homes and it is there that we make the most difference that is where the individual battles can be fought.
I really liked your comment about assertiveness and the right to opinion. I agree that that too is a powerful lesson. And heaven knows in todays world our kids need that characteristic more than we ever did when growing up.
I stand corrected in my original statement it was my opinion on snacks not on all rules but I think that that is how we need to approach things one rule at a time each on their individual merits.
I loved your reply thanks
Private Mom // Oct 15, 2007 at 6:02 am
Similiar situation…we are being told our daughter has to eat a group snack that is usually unhealthy! I agree with most, schools don’t have the right to dictate what our kids eat. When we talked with our daughters’ teacher, she stood her ground and told us that our daughter had to eat the unhealthy snacks…out of fairness. Other kids AND their parents, she said, would be upset if our daughter got to eat a special snack. This ’special’ snack is a Kashi brand granola bar or a baggie of veggies/fruit. We go to a private school, do they have more controlling rights?
Private Mom // Oct 15, 2007 at 6:13 am
Also, to address what’s been said many times above…..there ARE healthier ‘kid’ snacks out there that DON”T have artificial sweeteners, junk in them. Go out of the mainstream snack isles, to the healthy food section. When my daughter wants ‘junk’ food, we give it….just in a different way. Kashi, Newmans Own, and lots of other brands make products with no high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated oils, artificial sweeteners. That doesn’t mean that there is no fat or calories in them, just that the products are made with ingredients easier for our bodies to process.
We don’t tell our daughter, in 1st grade, that we are unhappy with her teachers’ choices, just that we feel strongly about her nutritional choices. Her teacher has suggested that parents bring in healthy snacks for the group snacks, but no one listens.
How many of your kids have this new ‘group’ snack program? I think it’s a nightmare!!
Slouching Mom // Oct 16, 2007 at 6:35 am
Private Mom — I wish I knew the answers. In theory, private schools DO have more control, because they’re not being monitored by an external agent, right?
Yep, I’m not a fan of group snacks. But soon enough, I’ll bet, you will not have to participate in those. As soon as there’s a kid who’s highly allergic in your daughters’s vicinity, group snack will be a thing of the past, IMO.
Leave a Comment